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Do you think it is better to send criminals to jail or let them receive education or job training? v. 1

All around the world, you cannot find a country without someone committing a crime. Also, it is obvious that we have to cope with criminals. But people are not of the same mind about how to treat them. Some see sending criminals to prison as the best way, while others believe in job training and education to be helpful and I partially agree with it. In the first place, it is a good way to encourage criminals to have a normal life. But changing their minds needs a friendly environment as they are close to accept any help or advice from those who are not like them. Here a rehab program could change their attitude in a positive way. At the same time, we should not forget the fact that most of the criminals commit crimes due to their lack of money and job. Thus, job training is what could help them to live a normal life after the rehab. This can benefit society as well; the period of education and rehab may result in reducing the rate crime and job training could guarantee a future full of prosperity. On the other hand, this policy may not work for who had committed a serious crime such as murdering a person. In this case these criminals deserve their sins and should be kept in prison and taken away from their basic human rights which is freedom. This may guarantee a safety for  others in society. However, it is obvious to all that the cost of running a prison is too much. The money which spend on running a prison, could be spent on something else that benefit the society as well. In this case, on building schools. At the same time, we should overlook the fact that not only people can affect each other in a negative way in prison, but also they can turn into a resentful person as well. All things considered, I am led to believe that of course prison is always a quick and can be said an easy answer to committing a crime, but given the level of crime, we should have different rehab program and prison is not the answer to committing a crime.

IELTS essay Do you think it is better to send criminals to jail or let them receive education or job training? v.1

All around the world, you cannot find a country without someone committing a
crime
.
Also
, it is obvious that we
have to
cope with
criminals
.
But
people
are not of the same mind about how to treat them.
Some
see
sending
criminals
to
prison
as the best way, while others believe in
job
training and education to be helpful and I
partially
agree
with it. In the
first
place, it is a
good
way to encourage
criminals
to have a normal life.
But
changing their minds needs a friendly environment as they are close to accept any
help
or advice from those who are not like them. Here a
rehab
program could
change
their attitude in a
positive
way. At the same time, we should not forget the fact that most of the
criminals
commit
crimes
due to their lack of money and
job
.
Thus
,
job
training is what could
help
them to
live
a normal life after the
rehab
. This can benefit society
as well
; the period of education and
rehab
may result in reducing the rate
crime
and
job
training could guarantee a future full of prosperity. On the
other
hand, this policy may not work for who had committed a serious
crime
such as murdering a person.
In this case
these
criminals
deserve their sins and should be
kept
in
prison
and taken away from their basic human rights which is freedom. This may guarantee a safety for
 
others in society.
However
, it is obvious to all that the cost of running a
prison
is too much. The money which spend on running a
prison
, could
be spent
on something else that benefit the society
as well
.
In this case
, on building schools. At the same time, we should overlook the fact that not
only
people
can affect each
other
in a
negative
way in
prison
,
but
also
they can turn into a resentful person
as well
. All things considered, I
am led
to believe that
of course
prison
is always a quick and can
be said
an easy answer to committing a
crime
,
but
given
the level of
crime
, we should have
different
rehab
program and
prison
is not the answer to committing a
crime
.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
29Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
Essay
4 paragraphs
369 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resources: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Band score ≥ 7
  • Band score ≤ 6
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