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Many students do volunteer work in schools or communities. If you are a volunteer, what activity would you like to do? Gardening in community, doing activities with children or cleaning a place in the city. Explain why you are interested to do this activi v.1

Many students do volunteer work in schools or communities. If you are a volunteer, what activity would you like to do? Gardening in community, doing activities with children or cleaning a place in the city. Explain why you are interested to do this activi v. 1
Populations are increasing worldwide and all their needs will increase including housing accordingly. Due to the increase of number of houses, cities became crowded. As such, countrysides became an alternative solution for that problem. However, using countrysides as a building space has drawbacks in many aspects. Countrysides represent one of the most attractive natural places. People usually go there to enjoy their time away from the cities. Green places like parks are perfect for relaxation. Most of people prefer to spend their vacations and free time to take a rest from work and the busy daily routine. Therefore, Occupying these areas with houses will lead to band people from free places for meditation. Furthermore, the expense of using the green lands for housing will reach the nature as well. For example, cutting the trees and plants are a big natural loss. These are few of the disadvantages of using the countryside as an accommodation area. On the other hand, the demand of housing with the increase of population size must be addressed. Every family dreams to have their own house. That causes a pressure on the governments to offer solutions for citizens. Hence the countryside is available as an option, it could be used to solve this issue. In conclusion, using countrysides for housing has bright side and drawbacks in the same time. In my opinion, using countrysides could represent solutions, but it must be done within appropriate manner to decrease the damage and loss. Needs and demands for both housing and natural places must be balanced.
Populations are increasing worldwide and all their needs will increase including housing
accordingly
. Due to the increase of number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
, cities became crowded. As such,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countrysides
became an alternative solution for that problem.
However
, using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countrysides
as a building space has drawbacks in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
aspects.

Countrysides represent one of the most attractive natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
usually
go there to enjoy their time away from the cities. Green
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
like parks are perfect for relaxation. Most of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
prefer to spend their vacations and free time to take a rest from work and the busy daily routine.
Therefore
, Occupying these areas with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
will lead to band
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
for meditation.
Furthermore
, the expense of using the green lands for housing will reach the nature
as well
.
For example
, cutting the trees and plants are a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
natural loss. These are few of the disadvantages of using the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
as an accommodation area.

On the other hand
, the demand of housing with the increase of population size
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be addressed
. Every family dreams to have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
. That causes a pressure on the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
to offer solutions for citizens.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
is available as an option, it could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to solve this issue.

In conclusion
, using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countrysides
for housing has bright side and drawbacks in the same time. In my opinion, using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countrysides
could represent solutions,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be done
within appropriate manner to decrease the damage and loss. Needs and demands for both housing and natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be balanced
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Many students do volunteer work in schools or communities. If you are a volunteer, what activity would you like to do? Gardening in community, doing activities with children or cleaning a place in the city. Explain why you are interested to do this activi v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
257 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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