Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages? v.7

Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages? v. 7
In recent times, the work ethics of people have changed a lot. This may be due to the increased level of competition in the labor market. As a result, some people spend more time at work which then hits into their personal time for hobbies. While this is beneficial in terms of career advancement, the demerits also have to be considered. On the one hand, putting in extra hours at work increase the possibility of growing in one’s field. This is because a lot of employers, especially in developing countries like Nigeria, see this act as a sign of commitment to the job. For example, my girlfriend who works in a commercial bank insists on closing at 5 pm as stipulated in her employment letter because she love to visit the gym every evening. When the result of her first year performance appraisal was released, she got a very bad rating from her supervisor while her colleague, who does not leave earlier than 7 pm, got a promotion. In addition, working overtime provides the opportunity to earn more money, especially for people that get paid per hour. This makes it possible to save up and finance special projects they could, hitherto, not afford. On the other hand, sacrificing time meant for spare time activities has its disadvantages. Leisure activities give employees a chance to unwind from all work related stress. This is not only beneficial to employees, because they are healthier, but also to the benefit of the employers as staff are able to put in their best during work hours. An overwhelming number of studies show that workers who work a maximum of 40 hours every week are significantly more productive than those who work overtime. This is why some structured organizations make it compulsory, by turning off all internet facilities, to leave the office as required by their policy. In conclusion, although working overtime at the expenses of their spare time earns people more money and possible recognition at work, it reduces their over efficiency. In my opinion, a work-life balance is essential for everybody’s wellbeing, and overworking should therefore be discouraged by all means. Employers, maybe as a sign of commitment to employee welfare, should even consider sponsoring hobbies of their staff.
In recent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
ethics of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
a lot. This may be due to the increased level of competition in the labor market.
As a result
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spend more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
which then hits into their personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for hobbies. While this is beneficial in terms of career advancement, the demerits
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be considered
.

On the one hand, putting in extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
increase the possibility of growing in one’s field. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
employers,
especially
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
like Nigeria,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
this act as a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sign
of commitment to the job.
For example
, my girlfriend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
works in a commercial bank insists on closing at 5 pm as stipulated in her employment letter
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
she
The pronoun 'she' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "loves", "loved".
love
to visit the gym every evening. When the result of her
first
year performance appraisal
was released
, she
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
rating from her supervisor while her colleague,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
earlier than 7 pm,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
a promotion.
In addition
, working overtime provides the opportunity to earn more money,
especially
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
paid per
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hour
. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it possible to save up and finance special projects they could, hitherto, not afford.

On the other hand
, sacrificing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
meant for spare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
activities has its disadvantages. Leisure activities give employees a chance to unwind from all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
related
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
. This is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
beneficial to employees,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are healthier,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
to the benefit of the employers as staff are able to put in their best during
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
. An overwhelming number of studies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that workers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
a maximum of 40
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
every week are
significantly
more productive than those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
overtime. This is why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
structured organizations
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it compulsory, by turning off all internet facilities, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
the office as required by their policy.

In conclusion
, although working overtime at the expenses of their spare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
earns
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
more money and possible recognition at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
their over efficiency. In my opinion, a work-life balance is essential for everybody’s
Possible spelling mistake found.
wellbeing
, and overworking should
therefore
be discouraged
by all means. Employers, maybe as a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sign
of commitment to employee welfare, should even consider sponsoring hobbies of their staff.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
26Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages? v. 7

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
375 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts