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Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience v.12

Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages? 12
Nowadays, it has been observed that numerous people across the globe are suffering from health issues due to work for extended hours in the office and less time for outdoor activities. Although, working extra period can help you in monetary terms, but it has more cons than pros. Firstly, many people, especially young people is very ambitious and work alcoholic. They try to achieve the desired outcome in a short period, by involving themselves in extended hours in the office and putting their health at stake. For example, in 2007, I worked for 12 hours a day and seven days a week for 4 months continuously, as a result, I got the desired promotion, but, later develop many health issues which take months to cure. Secondly, nowadays, it has been observed that number of divorce cases have increased significantly in the last few years. This is due to the less duration spent by couples, as both of them are busy working and hardly find time for themselves, hence, results in broken relationships. For example, recently my friend got divorced from his wife due to his habit of long working hours and spent less duration with his wife. Outdoor activities like going for a short trip or have a dinner in a restaurant over the weekend plays an important role in living a happy and healthy life. Not only, these activities refresh you for the upcoming week, but also, helps you in sharing a healthy relationship with your family. To conclude, although, it is important to have ambitions in life, but sacrificing leisure time in lieu of work is not helpful either for the person and also its immediate family. To maintain a balance between social and professional life, it is important to share quality period together.
Nowadays, it has
been observed
that numerous
people
across the globe are suffering from health issues due to work for extended
hours
in the office and less time for outdoor activities. Although, working extra period can
help
you in monetary terms,
but
it has more cons than pros.

Firstly
,
many
people
,
especially
young
people
is
very
ambitious and work alcoholic. They try to achieve the desired outcome in a short period, by involving themselves in extended
hours
in the office and putting their health at stake.
For example
, in 2007, I worked for 12
hours
a day and seven days a week for 4 months
continuously
,
as a result
, I
got
the desired promotion,
but
, later develop
many
health issues which take months to cure.

Secondly
, nowadays, it has
been observed
that number of divorce cases have increased
significantly
in the last few years. This is due to the less duration spent by couples, as both of them are busy working and hardly find time for themselves,
hence
, results in broken relationships.
For example
, recently my friend
got
divorced from his wife due to his habit of long working
hours
and spent less duration with his wife.

Outdoor activities like going for a short trip or
have a dinner
in a restaurant over the weekend plays an
important
role in living a happy and healthy life. Not
only
, these activities refresh you for the upcoming week,
but
also
,
helps
you in sharing a healthy relationship with your family.

To conclude
, although, it is
important
to have ambitions in life,
but
sacrificing leisure time in lieu of work is not helpful either for the person and
also
its immediate family. To maintain a balance between social and professional life, it is
important
to share quality period together.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages? 12

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
296 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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