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Many people welcome the opening of shopping areas near their homes. On the other hand, some people are strongly opposed to the construction of such facilities. If the opening of a large shopping center in your neighborhood were announced, would you supp v.1

Many people welcome the opening of shopping areas near their homes. On the other hand, some people are strongly opposed to the construction of such facilities. If the opening of a large shopping center in your neighborhood were announced, would you supp v. 1
A big building as a shopping center would provide us a lot of benefits, not only for me but for my neighborhood and even my city. This construction would afford more jobs, options to buy things and hangout with friends and family. The number of unemployed people are increasing in my city and today achieved the highest level of the last 5 years. Unfortunately, I am one of those but hopefully with this new construction will offer a lot of new jobs. I have been looking for a job for almost a year, I have friends that is waiting for more than that. Actually, many people was thinking about move to the city, because some of then do not have even a minimum wage to survive. Fortunately, all the citizens of Polur will considering to remain in our amazing city. In addition, Polur is an inner city, we do not have many options to go shopping. Currently, when we need to buy something, we need to travel almost 5 hours to another city nearby that have a shopping center. However, if we would have a shopping center here, would be so much comfortable. Such as we are promoting the growing of Polur. Last but not least, we would have fun by going to the movies because there are not cinema in Polur. Nowadays, it is almost impossible to find a city without a cinema. Also, we would playing games with friends and family, eating a different taste of food in food court. Everyone will enjoy about this construction. For those reasons, I feel that building a shopping mall nearby will provide a big advance for my inner city. Everyone will love, for sure!
A
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
building as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
center would provide us
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
benefits, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for me
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
for my neighborhood and even my city. This construction would afford more jobs, options to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
things and hangout with friends and family.

The number of unemployed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
Did you mean "is"?
are
increasing in my city and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
achieved the highest level of the last 5 years. Unfortunately, I am one of those
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
hopefully
with this new construction will offer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
new jobs. I have been looking for a job for almost a year, I have friends
that is
waiting for more than that. Actually,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
was thinking about
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to the city,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
Consider using "some then" or "some of the then".
some of then
do not have even a minimum wage to survive.
Fortunately
, all the citizens of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Polur
will
The verb 'considering' is used with the gerund form: "considering remaining".
considering to remain
in our amazing city.

In addition
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Polur
is an inner city, we do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
options to go
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
.
Currently
, when we need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
something, we need to travel almost 5 hours to another city nearby that have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
center.
However
, if we would have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
center here, would be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much comfortable. Such as we are promoting the growing of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Polur
.

Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, we would have fun by going to the movies
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there are not cinema in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Polur
. Nowadays, it is almost impossible to find a city without a cinema.
Also
, we would
The verb 'would' requires the base form of the verb: "play"
playing
games with friends and family, eating a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
taste of food in food court. Everyone will enjoy about this construction.

For those reasons, I feel that building a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
mall nearby will provide a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
advance for my inner city. Everyone will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
, for sure!
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Many people welcome the opening of shopping areas near their homes. On the other hand, some people are strongly opposed to the construction of such facilities. If the opening of a large shopping center in your neighborhood were announced, would you supp v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
283 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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