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Many people want their country to host an international sporting event. Others believe that international sporting events bring more problems than benefits. v.9

Many people want their country to host an international sporting event. Others believe that international sporting events bring more problems than benefits. v. 9
In today's world competition among countries for hosting any international sporting event has increased. Many people believe that international sporting events cause many issues. However, I strongly disagree because it gives an opportunity to all nations to come together. Firstly, organising any sporting event requires costly equipment, proper planning, manpower, arrangement, money and preparation. For instance, for arranging one cricket match panning, a stadium, schedule and other preparation are required. People also purchase costly tickets for watching the match. People who travel around the world for watching those matches require accommodation arrangement. This may cause unwanted expenses for countries who can host sporting events. However, we cannot deny the importance of sports in our life. Any international sporting event like Olympic Games gives an opportunity to all participants to perform their best and make records. Sports lovers around the world definitely would get the best entertainment because of such events. Nowadays films, television serials are entertaining and popular among people. Likewise, sports are also equally important, entertaining and popular. From this, it becomes quite evident that such kind of events encourages young people in sports activities. Furthermore, it gives an opportunity to all nations around the world to come together. For instance, in football world cup most of the countries can participate, which is very good for maintaining peace as well as maintaining good international relationship globally. This helps them to come closer to each other. This shows why sporting events have vast importance. In conclusion, although arranging a sports event is expensive and causes some issues, it has a vast importance at the global level. For any sportsperson, it gives a chance not only to perform but also to entertain. Thus disadvantages of sporting events outweigh the advantages, and I believe that there are too many benefits because of such events.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
competition among countries for hosting any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
sporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
has increased.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
sporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
issues.
However
, I
strongly
disagree
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gives
an opportunity to all nations to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
together.

Firstly
,
Possible spelling mistake. 'organising' is British English.
organising
any sporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
requires costly equipment, proper planning, manpower, arrangement, money and preparation.
For instance
, for arranging one cricket match panning, a stadium, schedule and other preparation
are required
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
costly tickets for watching the match.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
who travel around the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
for watching those matches require accommodation arrangement. This may cause unwanted expenses for countries who can host sporting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
.

However
, we cannot deny the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
in our life. Any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
sporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
like Olympic Games
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gives
an opportunity to all participants to perform their best and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
records.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sports
lovers around the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
definitely would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the best entertainment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
. Nowadays films, television serials are entertaining and popular among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Likewise
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
are
also
equally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
, entertaining and popular. From this, it becomes quite evident that such kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
encourages young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
activities.

Furthermore
, it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gives
an opportunity to all nations around the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
together.
For instance
, in football
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
cup most of the countries can participate, which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for maintaining peace
as well
as maintaining
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
relationship globally. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
closer to each other. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
why sporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
have vast importance.

In conclusion
, although arranging a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
is expensive and causes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
issues, it has a vast importance at the global level. For any sportsperson, it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gives
a chance not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
to perform
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
to entertain.
Thus
disadvantages of sporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
outweigh the advantages, and I believe that there are too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
33Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Many people want their country to host an international sporting event. Others believe that international sporting events bring more problems than benefits. v. 9

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
302 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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