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Many people want their country to host an international sporting event. Others believe that international sporting events bring more problems than benefits. v.7

Many people want their country to host an international sporting event. Others believe that international sporting events bring more problems than benefits. v. 7
International sporting events held after every three to four year all over the world. A large number of people travel across the world to support their team during the event. Some people argue that these events bring prosperity, enthusiasm, entertainment and business for the hosting nation. Others claim that it could have dire consequences and severe negative effect on the lives of local people. Firstly, sporting tournaments play a pivotal role in strengthening the economy of the organising country. Numerous tourists and visitors attend these events to support and lift up the morale of their teams. Local people observe a dramatic rise in the sales of their goods and services. Secondly, sport is a source of entertainment and fun for its followers. People get the chance to meet and enjoy the performance of their favourite sports star. Thirdly, it provides an opportunity to meet new people and understand their culture and traditions that could substantially decrease the tension between the people of rival countries. International sporting events also popularise a country to the world and thus the potential tourism industry of this country gets benefits from that. However, it is often seen that people burst out as their team lose the match that could exacerbate the situation in the ground and make it a battlefield. Additionally, congestion, adequate accommodation and visitor’s safety are the few issues that are caused by these events. During 2010 football world cup in Brazil, a record number of thefts and stolen cases were reported. To tackle such problems required enormous funds and detailed planning. Not all sports can attract international visitors and fans and thus many of these sporting events cost a lot while earning a little. To sum up, I would like to say that international events help in minimising tensions and create stronger bonding among many nations. Successful occurring of event really helps in thriving the country’s economy and provides adverse advantages to its citizen. However, it also has some problems but that can be handled by imposing strict rules of laws and educating people.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
International
sporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
held after every three to four year all over the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
.
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
A large number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
travel across the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
to support their team during the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
bring prosperity, enthusiasm, entertainment and business for the hosting nation. Others claim that it could have dire consequences and severe
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect on the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

Firstly
, sporting tournaments play a pivotal role in strengthening the economy of the
Possible spelling mistake. 'organising' is British English.
organising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. Numerous tourists and visitors attend these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
to support and
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "lift".
lift up
the morale of their teams. Local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
observe a dramatic rise in the sales of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
and services.

Secondly
, sport is a source of entertainment and fun for its followers.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
and enjoy the performance of their
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
sports star.
Thirdly
, it provides an opportunity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and understand their culture and traditions that could
substantially
decrease the tension between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of rival
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
International
sporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
also
Possible spelling mistake. 'popularise' is British English.
popularise
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
and
thus
the potential tourism industry of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
benefits from that.

However
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
burst out as their team lose the match that could exacerbate the situation in the ground and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it a battlefield.
Additionally
, congestion, adequate accommodation and visitor’s safety are the few issues that
are caused
by these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
. During 2010 football
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
cup in Brazil, a record number of thefts and stolen cases
were reported
. To tackle such problems required enormous funds and detailed planning. Not all sports can attract
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
visitors and fans and
thus
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of these sporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
cost a lot while earning a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
.

To sum up, I would like to say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in
Possible spelling mistake. 'minimising' is British English.
minimising
tensions and create stronger bonding among
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
nations. Successful occurring of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
really
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in thriving the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
economy and provides adverse advantages to its citizen.
However
, it
also
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
problems
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
that can
be handled
by imposing strict
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
of laws and educating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
30Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay Many people want their country to host an international sporting event. Others believe that international sporting events bring more problems than benefits. v. 7

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
342 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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