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Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for commiting it, should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment. Discuss both these views and give yor own opinion. v.2

Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for commiting it, should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment. v. 2
Being punished for criminal acts is obviously vital in a civilized society. But what is the right way of doing so? Should people know exactly how they are going to be punished, without any possible discount related to motivations and circumstances, or should the sentences be customized for each situation? I think it is important to analyse what could be the reasons behind each position. If all people would be judged just for the action, surely they will know beforehand what they are going to face for a specific felony and maybe that would hinder the crime rate. If you know that the fact that you steal a piece of bread, without hurting anyone, would have the same consequences as if you commit an armed robbery, probably you will not take any risks and you will not steal anything at all. In addition, knowing that the sentence is decided because of the criminal act itself, can also seem more equal. There are a tremendous number of statistics that show that gender, race and social status of the criminal influence a big deal both the jury (that decide if you’re a culprit) and the judges (that decide the punishment). Also the recurrence of the crime is often seen as a reason to aggravate the punitive measure. On the other hand, the intention behind the action should be taken into account. There’s a difference if someone kills a human trying to protect himself, or by accident, than if he really wanted to kill someone because whatever reason. As human being we naturally think that there are circumstances in which a crime could be justified, but not forgiven. It has also to be considered the age of the perpetrator. If the criminal is a minor it is hard to tell to what extend the decision has been influenced by others or how much he is able to understand the action committed. All in all, I think that even though there could be some benefits in punishing people for the crime, we must always take into account the circumstances and motivations behind it. Sadly, there are people who try to use this way of sentencing to alleviate their punishment, so maybe the problem relays more on how the attenuation of the sentence is evaluated.
Being punished
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
acts is
obviously
vital in a civilized society.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
what is the right way of doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
? Should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
know exactly how they are going to
be punished
, without any possible discount related to motivations and circumstances, or should the sentences
be customized
for each situation? I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to
Possible spelling mistake. 'analyse' is British English.
analyse
what could be the reasons behind each position.

If all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would
be judged
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
for the action,
surely
they will know beforehand what they are going to face for a specific felony and maybe that would hinder the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rate. If you know that the fact that you steal a piece of bread, without hurting anyone, would have the same consequences as if you commit an armed robbery,
probably
you will not take any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
and you will not steal anything at all.

In addition
, knowing that the sentence
is decided
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
act itself, can
also
seem more equal. There are a tremendous number of statistics that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that gender, race and social status of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
influence a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
deal both the jury (that decide if you’re a culprit) and the judges (that decide the punishment).
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
the recurrence of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
as a reason to aggravate the punitive measure.

On the other hand
, the intention behind the action should
be taken
into account. There’s a difference if someone kills a human trying to protect himself, or by accident, than if he
really
wanted to kill someone
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
whatever reason. As human being we
naturally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that there are circumstances in which a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
could
be justified
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not forgiven.

It has
also
to
be considered
the age of the perpetrator. If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
is a minor it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
to what
Did you mean the noun "extent"?
extend
the decision has
been influenced
by others or how much he is able to understand the action committed.

All in all, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
even though
there could be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits in punishing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
always take into account the circumstances and motivations behind it.
Sadly
, there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
this way of sentencing to alleviate their punishment,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
maybe the problem relays more on how the attenuation of the sentence
is evaluated
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS essay Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for commiting it, should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment. v. 2

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
380 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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