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As water is a valuable resource, governments all over the world should control how much water their citizens use. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? v.2

As water is a valuable resource, governments all over the world should control how much water their citizens use. with this statement? v. 2
As it is well known that homo sapiens need water to survive. We utilize water in a plenty of our household works which ranges from bathing to washing, drinking to cleaning and so on. However, it is an undeniable fact that numerous regions are facing water undersupply which leads into several troubles. From my notion, the conservation of water should be according to the place where you live. At the outset of this new millennium, there are a plethora of countries which have enough supply of water to cope up with their day to day needs while some regions have a shortage of water to an extent that they do not even get enough to drink. Broadly speaking, the supply of water is linked to the condition of an environment as well as weather prevailing in that area. For instance, European countries do not worry about water supply because they have enough rainfall. On the flip side, there are some sectors which experience drought, to exemplify, a few countries of Africa, Asia, Australia and Middle East. There should be certain strict measures of consume water so that wastage can be avoided. Not just this, Government should impose tax on the usage so that people can use it carefully. To epitomize, a recent survey shown that 1900 individuals got challaned for excess use of water. Last but not least, citizens should be encouraged to save water so that they can face the situations like drought. Mulling over the topic, for me, different countries have different requirements, so, it is unnecessary to impose rules of conservation everywhere. The rules should be according to the needs along with criteria.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
it is well known that homo sapiens need
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
to survive. We utilize
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of our household works which ranges from bathing to washing, drinking to cleaning and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
However
, it is an undeniable fact that numerous regions are facing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
undersupply
which leads into several troubles. From my notion, the conservation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
should be according to the place where you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
.

At the outset of this new millennium, there are a plethora of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
which have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
supply of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
to cope up with their
It appears that two hyphens are missing.
day to day
needs while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
regions have a shortage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
to an extent that they do not even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to drink.
Broadly
speaking, the supply of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
is linked
to the condition of an environment
as well
as weather prevailing in that area.
For instance
, European
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
do not worry about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
supply
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
rainfall.

On the flip side, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
sectors which experience drought, to exemplify, a few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
of Africa, Asia, Australia and Middle East. There should be certain strict measures of consume
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that wastage can
be avoided
. Not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
this,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
should impose tax on the usage
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it
carefully
. To epitomize, a recent survey shown that 1900 individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
Possible spelling mistake found.
challaned
for excess
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, citizens should
be encouraged
to save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can face the situations like drought.

Mulling over the topic, for me,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
requirements,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, it is unnecessary to impose
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
of conservation everywhere. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
should be according to the needs along with criteria.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

IELTS essay As water is a valuable resource, governments all over the world should control how much water their citizens use. with this statement? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
276 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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