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Women should give up their jobs and go back to their traditional roles of home maker in order to reduce world s unemployment To what extent do you agree or disagree v.1

Women should give up their jobs and go back to their traditional roles of home maker in order to reduce world s unemployment v. 1
The amount of fuels consumed are rising, due to that, the price is undergoing an increase. It argued that the over consumption of the fuels is going up as new transportations are discovered each year, and the resources are lessening as fuels have been burnt up by factories that attempt to keep up with the rapid growth of market needs. I therefore agree that we must lower the pressure on oil use and in return, raise the prices. Transportation varieties and developments cause overuse of petrol and thus decreasing gas amounts. The constructing of modern cars and bus development makes individuals and companies aspire to purchase and change for a new design. This will cause an increase in the fuel consumption and limit the resources, as new cars and buses require more amounts of crude oil. In my opinion it is for the best that we must raise the price of fuel intake. In a study conducted at the University of Ohio, Hondas new cars burn up almost 55% of gas for only 12km/h. Nowadays, factories always try to compete on who produces the newest model of vehicle. In return of meeting the market's expectation and not falling back with old models of cars, for instance, better air conditioning is becoming popular amongst the people. While some might disagree by saying that having an excellent air conditioning is a fantastic thing and are needed in hotter countries, but it does a lot of harm on decreasing fuel resources. In conclusion, I believe that oil consumption causes limitation of resources and thus should be restrained by raising the prices. It is for a better future that companies, consumers and factories try to decrease their use of petrol.
The amount of
fuels
consumed are rising, due to that, the price is undergoing an increase. It argued that the over consumption of the
fuels
is going up as
new
transportations
are discovered
each year, and the resources are lessening as
fuels
have
been burnt
up by factories that attempt to
keep
up with the rapid growth of market needs. I
therefore
agree
that we
must
lower the pressure on oil
use
and in return, raise the prices.

Transportation varieties and developments cause overuse of petrol and
thus
decreasing gas amounts. The constructing of modern
cars
and bus development
makes
individuals and
companies
aspire to
purchase
and
change
for a
new
design. This will cause an increase in the
fuel
consumption and limit the resources, as
new
cars
and buses require more amounts of crude oil. In my opinion it is for the best that we
must
raise the price of
fuel
intake. In a study conducted at the University of Ohio,
Hondas
new
cars
burn up almost 55% of gas for
only
12km
/h.

Nowadays, factories always try to compete on who produces the newest model of vehicle. In return of meeting the market's expectation and not falling back with
old
models of
cars
,
for instance
, better air conditioning is becoming popular amongst the
people
. While
some
might disagree by saying that having an excellent air conditioning is a fantastic thing and
are needed
in hotter countries,
but
it does
a lot of
harm on decreasing
fuel
resources.

In conclusion
, I believe that oil consumption causes limitation of resources and
thus
should
be restrained
by raising the prices. It is for a better future that
companies
, consumers and factories try to decrease their
use
of petrol.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Women should give up their jobs and go back to their traditional roles of home maker in order to reduce world s unemployment v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
286 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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