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Many people think that the most important things in life are free-they cannot be bought. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

Many people think that the most important things in life are free-they cannot be bought. v. 1
In today's fast paced era, a section of people believes that there has been a rise in anti-social behaviour and disrespect for others. In this essay, I will explain a variety of causes and suggest solutions to the problem at hand. Recent studies show that the increase in lack of respect and reduced social interaction can be attributed to 3 major causes. Firstly, with the rise of technology, society doesn't feel the need to communicate effectively or respectfully. This is because of the fact that social media has taken over real life communication. Therefore, resulting in a population that has forgotten how to live as a society. Secondly, there is a lack of time due to the busy nature of life nowadays. The rush of work forces people to not care about feelings and emotions of others around them. Thus, forming friendships and relationships is considered to be a waste of precious time. Thirdly, schools have forced students to compete in a rat race and hardly teach social values and manners. Hence, schools are producing children who might be academically excellent but don't understand the importance of how to interact in public places. Through this essay, I would like to suggest 2 solutions. As an initial step, we should aim to target the problem at the grass root level by introducing morals teaching classes in the school curriculum. Secondly, a working environment that is intolerant to disrespect should be encouraged along with promoting cultural events that would lead to an improvement in co-worker relationships. All in all, we need to realise the various reasons behind this increase in anti-social behaviour and tackle this issue in order to restore our ability to live as a society where respect is considered a top priority.
In
today
's
fast
paced era, a section of
people
believes that there has been a rise in anti-social
behaviour
and disrespect for others. In this essay, I will
explain
a variety of causes and suggest solutions to the problem at hand.

Recent studies
show
that the increase in lack of respect and
reduced
social interaction can
be attributed
to 3 major causes.
Firstly
, with the rise of technology, society doesn't feel the need to communicate
effectively
or
respectfully
. This is
because of the fact that
social media has taken over real life communication.
Therefore
, resulting in a population that has forgotten how to
live
as a society.
Secondly
, there is a lack of time due to the busy nature of life nowadays. The rush of work forces
people
to not care about feelings and emotions of others around them.
Thus
, forming friendships and relationships
is considered
to be a waste of precious time.
Thirdly
, schools have forced students to compete in a rat race and hardly teach social values and manners.
Hence
, schools are producing children who might be
academically
excellent
but
don't understand the importance of how to interact in public places.

Through this essay, I would like to suggest 2 solutions. As an initial step, we should aim to target the problem at the grass root level by introducing morals teaching classes in the school curriculum.
Secondly
, a working environment
that is
intolerant to disrespect should
be encouraged
along with promoting cultural
events
that would lead to an improvement in co-worker relationships.

All in all, we need to
realise
the various reasons behind this increase in anti-social
behaviour
and tackle this issue in order to restore our ability to
live
as a society where respect
is considered
a top priority.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Many people think that the most important things in life are free-they cannot be bought. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
292 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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