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Nowadays individuals take their family with them to abroad whenever they go for a business trip What are the advantages and disadvantages on individual and on his her family v.1

Nowadays individuals take their family with them to abroad whenever they go for a business trip What are the advantages and disadvantages on individual and on his her family v. 1
These days, consumers travel to big shopping malls or centres for shopping tend to become a reason for closed small street shops. In my opinion, this is not a positive development. This essay will discuss some of the reasons with relevant examples. First of all, the moving trends of shopping towards large retail shops impose a negative impact on the employment of local markets. People who are working in the street shops will become unemployed. For instance, people how are handicap and workings in their near shops have to face difficulties in their survival. Secondly, local shops provide comparatively low price commodities than large shopping centres or malls. People of all classes can buy products easily. For example, shops in the big malls have to pay more for the shop rents rather than shops in the locality. Consequently, they have to sell things costly to manage their rent expenses. Last but not least, shopping from town centres big shops include may other expense such as travelling costs and time than shop from local markets. To be more precise, shopping from malls is not easy as much as from local shops. Even though, children can buy things on their own. For instance, if your children have to buy some very important and you do not have enough time to take him shopping then he may not buy that thing. In conclusion, due to customers travel to big malls or shopping centres, local shops have closed in recent years. It seems a negative development due to wastage of extra money.
These days, consumers travel to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
or
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
tend to become a reason for closed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
street
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
. In my opinion, this is not a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development. This essay will discuss
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
reasons with relevant examples.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the moving trends of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
towards large retail
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
impose a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on the employment of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
markets.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
who are working in the street
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
will become unemployed.
For instance
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
how are handicap and workings in their near
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
face difficulties in their survival.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
provide
comparatively
low price commodities than large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
of all classes can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
products
easily
.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay more for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
rents
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
in the locality.
Consequently
, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
sell things costly to manage their rent expenses.

Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
from town
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
include may other expense such as travelling costs and time than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
markets. To be more precise,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
is not easy as much as from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
.
Even though
, children can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
things on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
.
For instance
, if your children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
and you do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
time to take him
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
then he may not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
that thing.

In conclusion
, due to customers travel to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
have closed in recent years. It seems a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
development due to wastage of extra money.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays individuals take their family with them to abroad whenever they go for a business trip What are the advantages and disadvantages on individual and on his her family v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
258 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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