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Many people think that the media should show more stories which report good news. To what extend do you agree or disagree v.2

Many people think that the media should show more stories which report good news. v. 2
Nowadays, our lives is influenced by media deeply. Therefore, people think that more good news should be reported on all sort of media. I partly agree with this It is true that the good news makes viewers feel happier and healthier life. For instance, the news is about a charitable organization conduct free heart surgery for many children that make people more emotionally and shape their outlook on society in a positive way. Further more, negative news cause a undersirable on society an influence on thoughts and actions of viewers, especially teenagers. They have no enough awareness to distinguish between good and bad. Crime scenes or violent scenes showed is absolutely having an impact on their behaviors and the imitative actions is impossible avoided. It is hard to educate teenagers if there are many violent scenes showed on most of media channel. On the other hand, a report about bad news is also helpful to some extent. For example, when people read news about violent crime, they are terrified and more cautious. The women will not go out to late, parents will pay more attention to their children. Moreover, the images of the dead and injured in historic floods make the viewers feel unhappy and down mood in the life, but it is also warns people of their responsibilities for the natural and environment. In conclusion, I think the number of good and bad news should be equivalent to encourage audiences to have complete overview of particular issue.
Nowadays, our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
is influenced
by media
deeply
.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
should
be reported
on all sort of media. I partly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
this


It is true that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
viewers feel happier and healthier life.
For instance
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
is about a charitable organization conduct free heart surgery for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
children that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
more
emotionally
and shape their outlook on society in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
way.
Further
more,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
cause
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
Possible spelling mistake found.
undersirable
on society an influence on thoughts and actions of viewers,
especially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
. They have no
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
awareness to distinguish between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
. Crime scenes or violent scenes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
is
absolutely
having an impact on their behaviors and the imitative actions is impossible avoided. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to educate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
if there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
violent scenes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
on most of media channel.

On the other hand
, a report about
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
is
also
helpful to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent.
For example
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
read
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
about violent crime, they
are terrified
and more cautious. The women will not go out to late, parents will pay more attention to their children.
Moreover
, the images of the dead and injured in historic floods
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the viewers feel unhappy and down mood in the life,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is
also
warns
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of their responsibilities for the natural and environment.

In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
should be equivalent to encourage audiences to have complete overview of particular issue.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Many people think that the media should show more stories which report good news. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
248 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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