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Many people think that road safety will improve when government will decrease the speed limit, other people belive that there are other better ways of improving read safety. To what extend do you agree. v.1

Many people think that road safety will improve when government will decrease the speed limit, other people belive that there are other better ways of improving read safety. v. 1
Some people think that doing one kind of work for entire life is the best choice while others believe that to change jobs often is crucial. This essay by discussing and supporting with examples will show that switching jobs often are more advantageous than staying for life in just one. It is believed that having one work position for the whole life is the proper choice that someone can make. Behind this choice, there are several reasons where the most important might be mentioned the comforts and security it provides. Although it creates a comfortable and secure state, in my opinion, this might put people in a monotony mode which is dangerous for a healthy life. Also this kind of mindset might fit on only for persons who refuse to take risks and make changes. For example, according to a questionnaire to 1000 retired people from Eurostat Albania, 70 percent of them have admitted that they had only on a job for the entire life because of being afraid about their capabilities to do something different. On the other hand it is believed that changing often the jobs is more effective. Doing different jobs during life gives the opportunity to learn different skills and to earn more money because a person have the possibility to choose another job which produce more incomes that the current one. It is agreed that possessing different abilities expand the variety and levels of work someone can do. For example, according to Forbes almost all of the entrepreneurs in their early career have changed their jobs often in order to gain more experience. To conclude, having a constant job for the whole life might lead in securing your future, but it has its own drawback as people live a monotone life. On the other hand, changing post constantly helps in gaining more abilities needed to get a better and more paid work position which in my opinion is essential nowadays.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that doing one kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for entire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is the best choice while others believe that to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
often
is crucial. This essay by discussing and supporting with examples will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that switching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
often
are more advantageous than staying for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
one.

It
is believed
that having one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
position for the whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is the proper choice that someone can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
. Behind this choice, there are several reasons where the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
be mentioned
the comforts and security it provides. Although it creates a comfortable and secure state, in my opinion, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
put
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in a monotony mode which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
for a healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
this kind of mindset
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
fit on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for persons who refuse to take
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
.
For example
, according to a questionnaire to 1000 retired
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
Possible spelling mistake found.
Eurostat
Albania, 70 percent of them have admitted that they had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
on a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
for the entire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of being afraid about their capabilities to do something
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
.

On the other hand
it
is believed
that changing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
often
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
is more effective. Doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
during
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
gives the opportunity to learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and to earn more money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
a person have the possibility to choose another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
which produce more incomes that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
one. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
that possessing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
abilities expand the variety and levels of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
someone can do.
For example
, according to Forbes almost
Consider using "all the".
all of the
entrepreneurs in their early career have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
often
in order to gain more experience.

To conclude
, having a constant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
for the whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
lead in securing your future,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
drawback as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a monotone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
On the other hand
, changing post
constantly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in gaining more abilities needed to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a better and more paid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
position which in my opinion is essential nowadays.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
A different language is a different vision of life.
Federico Fellini

IELTS essay Many people think that road safety will improve when government will decrease the speed limit, other people belive that there are other better ways of improving read safety. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
325 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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