Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Many people think that international travel will decrease in future. Do you think it is a positive development? Give examples from your experience. v.2

Many people think that international travel will decrease in future. Do you think it is a positive development? Give examples from your experience. v. 2
With advancement in technology and daily hectic schedule of people, a debate has developed wheather world-wide tour and journy would be decreased in future so, it will be better for human beign or on another side it would be negative effect because of plethora of problems arises. Here, I firmly believe that it will become the positive development and I will give the some examples in order to prove this point of view. There are manifolds points for shore up my opinion. First and foremost, today use of internet reaches at pinnacle point. We can easily get information on the google also, people have no time for spare holidays. Hence, we can say that in future might be international travel would be diminished. Besides this, technology has been increasing constantly since last decade, in travelling sector flourished with visual and augmented reality gadgets where we people enjoy international places with same environment and visual effects hence, technology greater dominating on travelling sector. Although this gadgets quite expensive, with help of AI in future this project will become successful and cheaper. Thus, on the heels of these advance technology we can strongly say that it would be positive development in terms of economic. Further emphasizing on my point of view, today people have stringent schedule and many family likes to enjoy vacation at home. so, here the psychology of the people also responsible for degrading international travelling. Since, many families postpone the plan of long distance tour, owing to prices of tickets have been increasing continuously. In addition, as per current trend people more like to explore domestic places and it would be cheap also unlike word-wide tour. To conclude, international travel will decreases lead to the negative development is not exception, many countries totally dependent on tourism and travelling industry. By virtue of this it would be bad situation on hosting country. But undeniably we can say that in future international travel will falling down then it could be benefit for future generation of humans because of they save abundant money, they easily talked to each other with advance technology and they spare more time with their families rather than in travelling.
With advancement in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
and daily hectic schedule of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, a debate has developed
Possible spelling mistake found.
wheather
world-wide tour and
Possible spelling mistake found.
journy
would
be decreased
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, it will be better for human
Possible spelling mistake found.
beign
or on another side it would be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of plethora of problems arises. Here, I
firmly
believe that it will become the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development and I will give the
Did you mean "same"?
some
examples in order to prove this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
point
of view.

There are manifolds
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
points
for shore up my opinion.
First
and foremost,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of internet reaches at pinnacle
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
point
. We can
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
information on the
"Google" is a proper noun and needs to be capitalized.
google
also
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have no time for spare holidays.
Hence
, we can say that in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
might be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
travel would
be diminished
.
Besides
this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has been increasing
constantly
since last decade, in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
sector flourished with visual and augmented reality gadgets where we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
enjoy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
places with same environment and visual effects
hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
greater dominating on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
sector. Although
Did you mean "these"?
this
gadgets quite expensive, with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of AI in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
this project will become successful and cheaper.
Thus
, on the heels of these advance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
we can
strongly
say that it would be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development in terms of economic.

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Further
emphasizing on my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
point
of view,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have stringent schedule and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
family likes to enjoy vacation at home.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
so
, here the psychology of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
also
responsible for degrading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
. Since,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
families postpone the plan of long distance tour, owing to prices of tickets have been increasing
continuously
.
In addition
, as per
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
trend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
more like to explore domestic places and it would be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
also
unlike word-wide tour.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
travel will decreases lead to the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
development is not exception,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries
totally
dependent on tourism and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
industry. By virtue of this it would be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
situation on hosting country.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
undeniably
we can say that in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
travel will
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "fall"
falling
down then it could be benefit for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
generation of humans
Probable usage error. Use "because they" instead.
because of they
save abundant money, they
easily
talked to each other with advance
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
technology and
they spare more time with their families
rather
than in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
30Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Mistakes

IELTS essay Many people think that international travel will decrease in future. Do you think it is a positive development? Give examples from your experience. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
362 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts