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Many people think that companies or private institutions should take the responsibility of cleaning the waste in the environment, not the government. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.2

Many people think that companies or private institutions should take the responsibility of cleaning the waste in the environment, not the government. v. 2
Given the high volume of garbage produced by the private industries, many people argue that these industries should take the responsibility of cleaning the waste. However, I believe that the full control should be in the hand of the government, with some assistance from the private institutions. Companies, especially manufacturing industries, produce tons of waste every day around the world. Comparing to the household waste, this waste is massive and pollutes the environment significantly, especially in the third-world countries where environmental awareness is very low. So, many people want the private industries to take the responsibility of cleaning the waste as they are responsible for most of the pollution. However, there will be some problem if the responsibility is completely shifted to the companies. Firstly, companies might not give high importance to this issue and will not spend enough money on this task as profitability is their main goal. So, we will not get the desired result. Secondly, there will be some kind of disagreement as to the proportion of the cost spent by each company because not all companies produce the equal amount of garbage. These all issues will result in mismanagement. Government can handle the task effectively and efficiently as they have administrative power and can work strictly and neutrally for the betterment of the whole country. Rather than shifting the full burden to the private companies, high amount of tax and fine should be imposed on the companies which produce a large volume of garbage. In this way, government can cover the cost of cleaning the pollution. In conclusion, private industries can take responsibility for cleaning the waste in the form of giving the high amount of tax. But the main control should be in the hand of the government for better, effective and neutral management.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Given
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
volume of garbage produced by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
should take the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibility
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cleaning
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
waste
.
However
, I believe that the full control should be in the hand of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
, with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
assistance from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
institutions.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Companies
,
especially
manufacturing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
, produce tons of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
waste
every day around the world. Comparing to the household
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
waste
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
waste
is massive and pollutes the environment
significantly
,
especially
in the third-world countries where environmental awareness is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
low.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
want the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
to take the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibility
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cleaning
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
waste
as they are responsible for most of the pollution.

However
, there will be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
problem if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibility
is completely shifted to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
might not give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
importance to this issue and will not spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
money on this task as profitability is their main goal.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, we will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the desired result.
Secondly
, there will be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
kind of disagreement as to the proportion of the cost spent by each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
not all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
produce the equal amount of garbage. These all issues will result in mismanagement.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
can handle the task
effectively
and
efficiently
as they have administrative power and can work
strictly
and
neutrally
for the betterment of the whole country.
Rather
than shifting the full burden to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
amount of tax and fine should
be imposed
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
which produce a large volume of garbage. In this way,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can cover the cost of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cleaning
the pollution.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
can take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibility
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cleaning
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
waste
in the form of giving the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
amount of tax.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
the main control should be in the hand of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
for better, effective and neutral management.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
34Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
The most intimate temper of a people, its deepest soul, is above all in its language.
Jules Michelet

IELTS essay Many people think that companies or private institutions should take the responsibility of cleaning the waste in the environment, not the government. v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
299 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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