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many people believe that the use of new technology improves lives of employees. Other think it is a disadvantage for them. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.2

many people believe that the use of new technology improves lives of employees. Other think it is a disadvantage for them. v. 2
lifestyles has undergone dramatic changes over a couple of decades. Presently, according to some folk, due to modern technology lives of workers has been improved. While, other ponder that it has throne side too. Here i will discuss about both of views. One school of thought reckon that by the help of various machines life of employees are is being very convenient. To exemplify vehicle mechanics are having tools which are well equipped with salient features and therefore due to this technology it not only saves the time but also save the money of the customer. Moreover, by having modern machines it helps employee to construct good roads for the citizens with long life expectancy. Furthermore, video conferencing is gaining prevalence in this entire globe. To illustrate, employees watch videos on you-tube and contact their employer via video call which help them in every thick and thin. A part from it, plethora of website contains sizable information which enhance the knowledge of workers with leaps and bounds. Another school of thought ponder that, fake information are being posted on ample of sites which sometimes waste the time of employee. Moreover, by having modern technology employees do not prefer to do any physical work they are siting on chair round the clock which cause abundance of health disorders. A part from it, some equipment are very costly which also contains health sum of money for repairing. Hence, technology is baleful for employees. To recapitulate, no doubt technology have some cons. However, I think without modern technology noting can be assumed and it made the life very comfortable.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
lifestyles
has undergone dramatic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
over a couple of decades.
Presently
, according to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
folk, due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of workers has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
, other ponder that it has throne side too. Here
Did you mean "I"?
i
will
Did you mean simply "discuss both"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discuss about both
of views.

One school of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
reckon that by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of various machines life of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
are is being
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
convenient. To exemplify vehicle mechanics are having tools which are
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well equipped
with salient features and
therefore
due to this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
it not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
saves the time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
save the money of the customer.
Moreover
, by having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
machines it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
to construct
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
roads for the citizens with long life expectancy.
Furthermore
, video conferencing is gaining prevalence in this entire globe. To illustrate,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
videos on you-tube and contact their employer via video call which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them in every thick and thin. A part from it, plethora of website contains sizable information which enhance the knowledge of workers with leaps and bounds.

Another school of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
ponder that, fake information are
being posted
on ample of sites which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
waste the time of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
.
Moreover
, by having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
do not prefer to do any physical work they are siting on chair round the clock which cause abundance of health disorders. A part from it,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
equipment are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
costly which
also
contains health sum of money for repairing.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is baleful for employees.

To recapitulate, no doubt
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cons.
However
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
noting can
be assumed
and it made the life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
comfortable.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay many people believe that the use of new technology improves lives of employees. Other think it is a disadvantage for them. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
266 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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