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Many people think modern communication technology is having some negative effects on social relationship. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

Many people think modern communication technology is having some negative effects on social relationship. v. 1
There have been significant developments in relation to communication in recent years, however it is often argued that this technological progress had had a detrimental effect on many people’s relationships. Although in numerous cases damage is being done to social interactions, I also strongly maintain that there are undeniable benefits that have been brought by internet-based methods of communication. Corresponding online can clearly be a hindrance in many situations. The principal drawback is that social websites such as Facebook can be very addictive, therefore people spend less time communicating face to face. It is commonplace to see group of friends or family members who are gathered together in a social situation, however their main focus is frequently their smartphones. Secondly, the anonymous nature of online communications can also be very damaging. Due to the fact that posts and group messages are often sent without the recipient knowing the sender personally, users are frequently more thoughtless, or even abusive, compared to what they can be held accountable for their words. Despite the aforementioned harmful aspects, the latest communication devices are also advantageous in a variety of respects. Firstly, prior to the introduction of the internet, there were limited opportunities to keep in contact with others. Many examples have been seen of childhood friends who lost contact as a result of moving to a new town or attending a diffrerent university. With the introduction of social networking, this situation is now easily avoidable. In addition, social media also provides opportunities to build new relationships with likeminded people. By taking advantage of social groups and mutual friend recommendations, connections can now be built anywhere across the world. Looking back 20 years, it was uncommon for friends to be made outside of a local community. To conclude, there is no doubt that communication methods have been revolutionised over the last two decades. Whether this progression benefits or harms people socially, however, depending largely on individual circumstances. To avoid the potential issues presented above, it is vital that sufficient time is also devoted to more traditional forms of socialising.
There have been significant developments in relation to
communication
in recent years,
however
it is
often
argued that this technological progress had had a detrimental effect on
many
people’s
relationships. Although in numerous cases damage is
being done
to
social
interactions, I
also
strongly
maintain that there are undeniable benefits that have
been brought
by internet-based methods of communication.

Corresponding online can
clearly
be a hindrance in
many
situations. The principal drawback is that
social
websites such as Facebook can be
very
addictive,
therefore
people
spend less time communicating face to face. It is commonplace to
see
group of
friends
or family members who
are gathered
together in a
social
situation,
however
their main focus is
frequently
their smartphones.
Secondly
, the anonymous nature of online communications can
also
be
very
damaging. Due to the fact that posts and group messages are
often
sent
without the recipient knowing the sender
personally
, users are
frequently
more thoughtless, or even abusive, compared to what they can
be held
accountable for their words.

Despite the aforementioned harmful aspects, the latest
communication
devices are
also
advantageous in a variety of respects.
Firstly
, prior to the introduction of the internet, there
were limited
opportunities to
keep
in contact with others.
Many
examples have been
seen
of childhood
friends
who lost contact
as a result
of moving to a new town or attending a
diffrerent
university. With the introduction of
social
networking, this situation is
now
easily
avoidable.
In addition
,
social
media
also
provides opportunities to build new relationships with
likeminded
people
. By taking advantage of
social
groups and mutual
friend
recommendations, connections can
now
be built
anywhere across the world. Looking back 20 years, it was uncommon for
friends
to
be made
outside of
a local community.

To conclude
, there is no doubt that
communication
methods have been
revolutionised
over the last two decades. Whether this progression benefits or harms
people
socially
,
however
, depending
largely
on individual circumstances. To avoid the potential issues presented above, it is vital that sufficient time is
also
devoted to more traditional forms of
socialising
.
17Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
Learn a new language and get a new soul.
Czech Proverb

IELTS essay Many people think modern communication technology is having some negative effects on social relationship. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
344 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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