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Many people say the gap between rich and poor people is wider, as rich people become richer and poor people grow poorer. What problems could this situation cause and what measures can be done to address those problems? v.4

Many people say the gap between rich and poor people is wider, as rich people become richer and poor people grow poorer. What problems could this situation cause and what measures can be done to address those problems? v. 4
It is undeniable that the social gap between classes is wider when the unprivileged can not break the vicious cycle of indigence, whilst the upper class becomes wealthier. In my essay, i will shed the light this phenomenon and elicit some possible solutions for the sake of averting it. There is a variety of reasons why the distribution of prosperity is still not equal. Firstly, for those who live under circumstances do not have access to the advanced education system due to their financial background. By sharp contrast to this, the children from rich families are supposed to have the favourable conditions to the knowledge acquisition. The better educated kids, as a result, are likely to be successful when they grow up with higher income than their counterparts. Secondly, the surrounding habitat if the poor people is flooded in the social evils such as drug addiction, gambling which is the cradle of beggary. Nevertheless, we are capable of narrowing the wealth gap with a handful of doable solutions as follows. On the one hand, all students should have the free access to their desired educating places, which equip them the vital wisdom and techniques to devote to the society. The local authorities, on the other hand, probably create more jobs for the unprivileged. By dint of that they not only make ends meet, but run away from the social evils as well. To specify this practice, my village used to be the poorest place in the province with the high rate of crime. Thanks to the state supports, however, the local residents now are able to have the jobs and even get ahead. Consequently, the crime rate has decreased and the prosperity difference among villages of province is narrowed. In conclusion, with the aforementioned causes of the phenomenon, we can tackle it via providing poor people more opportunities to higher education system and occupations.
It is undeniable that the social gap between classes is wider when the unprivileged can not break the vicious cycle of indigence, whilst the upper
class
becomes wealthier. In my essay,
i
will shed the light this phenomenon and elicit
some
possible solutions for the sake of averting it.

There is a variety of reasons why the distribution of prosperity is
still
not equal.
Firstly
, for those who
live
under circumstances do not have access to the advanced education system due to their financial background. By sharp contrast to this, the children from rich families
are supposed
to have the
favourable
conditions to the knowledge acquisition. The better educated kids,
as a result
, are likely to be successful when they grow up with higher income than their counterparts.
Secondly
, the surrounding habitat if the poor
people
is
flooded in the social evils such as drug addiction, gambling which is the cradle of beggary.

Nevertheless
, we are capable of narrowing the wealth gap with a handful of doable solutions as follows. On the one hand, all students should have the free access to their desired educating places, which equip them the vital wisdom and techniques to devote to the society. The local authorities,
on the other hand
,
probably
create more jobs for the unprivileged. By dint of that they not
only
make
ends
meet
,
but
run away from the social evils
as well
. To specify this practice, my village
used
to be the poorest place in the province with the high rate of crime. Thanks to the state supports,
however
, the local residents
now
are able to have the jobs and even
get
ahead.
Consequently
, the crime rate has decreased and the prosperity difference among villages of province
is narrowed
.

In conclusion
, with the aforementioned causes of the phenomenon, we can tackle it via providing poor
people
more opportunities to higher education system and occupations.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Many people say the gap between rich and poor people is wider, as rich people become richer and poor people grow poorer. What problems could this situation cause and what measures can be done to address those problems? v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
314 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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