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Many people say the gap between rich and poor people is wider, as rich people become richer and poor people grow poorer. What problems could this situation cause and what measures can be done to address those problems? v.5

Many people say the gap between rich and poor people is wider, as rich people become richer and poor people grow poorer. What problems could this situation cause and what measures can be done to address those problems? v. 5
Its true that gap between rich and poor is increasing day by day. Rich people have lots of money they invest money generated from one business to another. Which ultimately increases their income. Rich people knows very well to utilize and manage their money. Rich people higher peoples to work in organisation, to get more ideas from them. Hired people get well paid. Where as poor people poor people barely manage to earn enough for their daily expences. They don' t have money to work as interpreneur. Bank denies to give loan as they don' t have any mortgage. So they never think to start any buisness. they find job and fail to try for anything new. As poor people keep completing daily needs and fail to save money for future. he spends all salary on needs. This things increases gap between rich and poor people. To overcome this problem our government must come forward to solve this problem. Firstly rich people should pay more taxes than poor people. So that government can use this money for poor people. There are many children and people keeping wish to learn but financial crises avoid them doing it. Children start to work in early age. Job and business oriented education or courses should make free for them. Interest free loan should be provided to group of poor people to start a business. There are many rich people who help poor people by providing scholarship and free education. Ratan Tata, an Indian industrialist worked lot for poor people. His trust gives gives opportunity to all poor people. There are some NGO' s they give free career oriented courses for poor. Many educational institutes in India ask for donation one giving donation gets admission and middle class students having caliber fail to take admission. Government must keep strict eye on them. We have to try from both rich and poor side so together we can have better community to live in otherwise day by day this gap will keep on increasing.
Its true that gap between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
is increasing day by day.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
they invest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
generated from one business to another. Which
ultimately
increases their income.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
knows
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
well to utilize and manage their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples
to work in
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
from them. Hired
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
well paid.

Did you mean "Whereas"?
Where as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
barely
manage to earn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
for their daily
Possible spelling mistake found.
expences
. They
Possible spelling mistake found.
don&
#039; t have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to work as
Possible spelling mistake found.
interpreneur
. Bank denies to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
loan as they
Possible spelling mistake found.
don&
#039; t have any mortgage.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
they never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
any
Possible spelling mistake found.
buisness
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
they
find job and fail to try for anything new. As
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
completing daily needs and fail to save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for future.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
he
spends all salary on needs.
Did you mean "these"?
This
things
You should probably use "increase".
increases
gap between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

To overcome this problem our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
forward to solve this problem.
Firstly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should pay more taxes than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
children and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
keeping wish to learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
financial crises avoid them doing it. Children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to work in early age. Job and business oriented education or courses should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
for them. Interest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
loan should
be provided
to group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
a business.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
by providing scholarship and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
education.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ratan
Tata, an Indian industrialist worked lot for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. His trust
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gives
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gives
opportunity to all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Possible spelling mistake found.
NGO&
#039; s they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
career oriented courses for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
educational institutes in India
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ask for
donation one giving donation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
admission and middle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
students having caliber fail to take admission.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
strict eye on them.

We
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
try from both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
side
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
together we can have better community to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in
otherwise
day by day this gap will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
on increasing.
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
52Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16Mistakes
Language is to the mind more than light is to the eye.
William Gibson

IELTS essay Many people say the gap between rich and poor people is wider, as rich people become richer and poor people grow poorer. What problems could this situation cause and what measures can be done to address those problems? v. 5

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
337 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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