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Many people say that teenagers should concentrate on all school subjects equally. Others, however, believe that students should spend more time on subjects they like, or are good at. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.3

Many people say that teenagers should concentrate on all school subjects equally. Others, however, believe that students should spend more time on subjects they like, or are good at. v. 3
These days, an ample emphasis has been placed on education and school curriculum. This essay thus first aims to investigate why some people assert studying particular courses that school-age children like is more beneficial; thereafter, it examines why others think students should study a variety of subjects, followed by my perception. One aspect which some millennials believe justifies concentrating on a few liked school subjects by pupils can be identified as a higher chance of acquiring proficiency. If youngsters concentrate on what they are interested in, they will not become bored during their studies, allowing them to improve their skills more rapidly, thereby achieving a higher level of proficiency at an earlier age. This then will ensure them a successful life when they grow up. A study conducted by the USLA in 2017, for instance, showed that 71 percent of adolescents who focus on particular subjects that they like such as art, music, and painting turn out to be accomplished artists in their later years. However, the opposition put forward convincing arguments. Another angle on this debate suggests students should study a variety of subjects. The real world necessitates numerous skills and therefore school curriculums should offer different disciplines for students to focus on, allowing them to obtain different abilities, which gives them more opportunities when they grow up. For example, Labor market statistics acknowledge that young professionals need to have a large number of abilities such as computer literacy, mathematical competency as well as interpersonal skills in order to be successful in job interviews. This illustrates the equal necessity of studying varied subjects. In summary, it is clear that some proportions of young students will have more proficiency in some subjects if they concentrate on them; nonetheless, I believe that having a variety of skills provides more opportunities and hence juveniles should concentrate on different subjects whether they are interested in them or no.
These days, an ample emphasis has
been placed
on education and school curriculum. This essay
thus
first
aims to investigate why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
assert studying particular courses that school-age children like is more beneficial; thereafter, it examines why others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
a variety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
, followed by my perception.

One aspect which
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
millennials believe justifies concentrating on a few liked school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
by pupils can
be identified
as a higher chance of acquiring proficiency. If youngsters concentrate on what they
are interested
in, they will not become bored during their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
, allowing them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
more
rapidly
, thereby achieving a higher level of proficiency at an earlier age. This then will ensure them a successful life when they grow up. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
conducted by the
Possible spelling mistake found.
USLA
in 2017,
for instance
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that 71 percent of adolescents who focus on particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
that they like such as art, music, and painting turn out to
be accomplished
artists in their later years.
However
, the opposition put forward convincing arguments.

Another angle on this debate suggests
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
a variety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
. The real world necessitates numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and
therefore
school curriculums should offer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
disciplines for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to focus on, allowing them to obtain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
abilities, which gives them more opportunities when they grow up.
For example
, Labor market statistics acknowledge that young professionals need to have
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
abilities such as computer literacy, mathematical competency
as well
as interpersonal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
in order to be successful in job interviews. This illustrates the equal necessity of studying varied subjects.

In summary, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
proportions of young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
will have more proficiency in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
if they concentrate on them; nonetheless, I believe that having a variety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
provides more opportunities and
hence
juveniles should concentrate on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
whether they
are interested
in them or no.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Many people say that teenagers should concentrate on all school subjects equally. Others, however, believe that students should spend more time on subjects they like, or are good at. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
315 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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