Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Many people say that teenagers should concentrate on all school subjects equally. Others, however, believe that students should spend more time on subjects they like, or are good at. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.2

Many people say that teenagers should concentrate on all school subjects equally. Others, however, believe that students should spend more time on subjects they like, or are good at. v. 2
Lately, there has been a gross reduction in moral values among youngsters. Many people believe that, parents are responsible for the decline in the behavioural pattern while another group thinks learning institutions are not doing a great job as well. I am opining that everyone has a role to play in a child's development, both views shall he explored. Guardians are too busy to train their children. Parents are unarguably the first teachers and friends a baby has, therefore, they are expected to instill morals in them at a tender age but, the reverse is the case in our generation. They are occupied with building careers and making money, hence, leaving the kids with nannies and the society to train. For instance, if a father or mother is seen by a toddler respecting the elders, such child emulates this act but, they are usually available. On the other hand, schools assume it's not their duty to correct the behavioural patterns of a student. They believe their job is to formally train a child in becoming useful in the corporate world, forgetting that what makes a good member of the society is both the formal and informal training taught. A good example is a video of a CEO that went viral recently. He was seen yelling at a client, although, he apologized after the incident, but, he claimed to have experienced his teachers yell at him and his mates on many occasions. To conclude, although the environment trains children in ways (negatively and positively), parents need to carve out time for their children and schools should ensure that teachers guide them in ways possible because grooming requires joint effort.
Lately, there has been a gross reduction in moral values among youngsters.
Many
people
believe that, parents are responsible for the decline in the
behavioural
pattern while another group
thinks
learning institutions are not doing a great job
as well
. I am opining that everyone has a role to play in a child's development, both views shall he explored.

Guardians are too busy to
train
their children. Parents are
unarguably
the
first
teachers and friends a baby has,
therefore
, they are
expected
to instill morals in them at a tender age
but
, the reverse is the case in our generation. They
are occupied
with building careers and making money,
hence
, leaving the kids with nannies and the society to
train
.
For instance
, if a father or mother is
seen
by a toddler respecting the elders, such child emulates this act
but
, they are
usually
available.

On the other hand
, schools assume it's not their duty to correct the
behavioural
patterns of a student. They believe their job is to
formally
train
a child in becoming useful in the corporate world, forgetting that what
makes
a
good
member of the society is both the formal and informal training taught. A
good
example is a video of a CEO that went viral recently. He was
seen
yelling at a client, although, he apologized after the incident,
but
, he claimed to have experienced his teachers yell at him and his mates on
many
occasions.

To conclude
, although the environment
trains
children in ways (
negatively
and
positively
), parents need to carve out time for their children and schools should ensure that teachers guide them in ways possible
because
grooming requires joint effort.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
One language sets you in a corridor for life. Two languages open every door along the way.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Many people say that teenagers should concentrate on all school subjects equally. Others, however, believe that students should spend more time on subjects they like, or are good at. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
278 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts