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It is a positive thing that people who are in senior management positions in companies have much higher salaries than other employees in the same company or organization. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.2

It is a positive thing that people who are in senior management positions in companies have much higher salaries than other employees in the same company or organization. v. 2
The fairness of workers’ income in association with their hard work has always sparked heated debates. While paying higher wages to employees in senior administrative positions is considered the norm these days, a controversy arises as to if it is a positive trend or not. Even though I agree with paying a higher rate to management positions, I oppose significant difference between the income of those of higher ranks and inferior positions. On the one hand, senior positions deserve to be paid higher wages. Firstly, they have more responsibility. It is those with higher ranks that are the focal points of investigations if something goes wrong; therefore, they should be paid accordingly. For instance, recently, one of the managers of NDH company located in Mordor, which produces consumable goods, was found guilty and condemned to 10 years in prison because of some poisoning-related deaths. Secondly, the majority of people who have senior positions have earned their status by more than decades of hard work and persistence. Statistics show that 90 percent of managers in companies are experienced employees who have climbed the ladder of their careers based on merits. On the other hand, a significant difference between the senior positions’ salary and that of lower positions create a serious problem because it lowers morale. It is demoralizing for laborers to see their contribution and hard labor is not being appreciated and they are unjustly being paid significantly less than people with higher ranks who work in a more comfortable atmosphere. General workers carry the burden of strenuous physical work and if they are not paid handsomely, it may cause dissatisfaction and consequently, cease of work due to strikes. All in all, based on the aforementioned explanation, while I concur that senior positions should be paid higher rates due to their responsibility and experience, it should not have a significant difference with laborers because it can be problematic.
The fairness of workers’ income in association with their
hard
work
has always sparked heated debates. While paying higher wages to employees in
senior
administrative
positions
is considered
the norm these days, a controversy arises as to if it is a
positive
trend or not.
Even though
I
agree
with paying a higher rate to management
positions
, I oppose significant difference between the income of those of higher ranks and inferior positions.

On the one hand,
senior
positions
deserve to be
paid
higher wages.
Firstly
, they have more responsibility. It is those with higher ranks that are the focal points of investigations if something goes
wrong
;
therefore
, they should be
paid
accordingly
.
For instance
, recently, one of the managers of NDH
company
located in
Mordor
, which produces consumable
goods
,
was found
guilty and condemned to 10 years in prison
because
of
some
poisoning-related deaths.
Secondly
, the majority of
people
who have
senior
positions
have earned their status by more than decades of
hard
work
and persistence. Statistics
show
that 90 percent of managers in
companies
are experienced
employees who have climbed the ladder of their careers based on merits.

On the other hand
, a significant difference between the
senior
positions’
salary and that of lower
positions
create a serious problem
because
it lowers morale. It is demoralizing for laborers to
see
their contribution and
hard
labor is not being
appreciated and
they are
unjustly
being
paid
significantly
less than
people
with higher ranks who
work
in a more comfortable atmosphere. General workers carry the burden of strenuous physical
work
and if they are not
paid
handsomely
, it may cause dissatisfaction and
consequently
, cease of
work
due to strikes.

All in all, based on the aforementioned explanation, while I concur that
senior
positions
should be
paid
higher rates due to their responsibility and experience, it should not have a significant difference with laborers
because
it can be problematic.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay It is a positive thing that people who are in senior management positions in companies have much higher salaries than other employees in the same company or organization. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
317 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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