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It is a positive thing that people who are in senior management positions in companies have much higher salaries than other employees in the same company or organization. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

It is a positive thing that people who are in senior management positions in companies have much higher salaries than other employees in the same company or organization. v. 1
In these days people are starting to believe that artificial intelligence is taking over the world. The question is robots are a replace for human in the workspace? In this essay I'm going to say what I believe in this matter. Firstly, There is no way to create a machine that can replicate how the human minds work. Scientists them self fund the human mind is unique and a miracle. However, robots taking jobs are possible. For instance, jobs like customer service, security. MoreOver, These jobs which do not require a lot of effort and could be automated because theses jobs does not require any skills at all. To illustrate, a job like customer service the employee should follow the easy steps. For that, the robot will not face problems that require human interfere and it should be automated. Secondly, To make a machine work or understand a thing you have to feed it with a huge amount of information. Moreover it takes years of researching and trying to make a robot do one single job that people takes among other. For example, Scientist from MIT published a paper it says that machines. Such as, Siri took years to develop and it could not match how humans think or respond and it will take many years to be a good speaker as any body. To conclude, I don't think that machine is going to take over peoples career. In fact robots will make life easier. And will help complex job and kill easy boring jobs.
In these days
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are starting to believe that artificial intelligence is taking over the world. The question is robots are a
The word 'replace' is a verb. Did you mean the noun "replacement"?
replace
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
in the workspace? In this essay I'm going to say what I believe in this matter.

Firstly
, There is no way to create a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machine
that can replicate how the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
minds work. Scientists them self fund the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
mind is unique and a miracle.
However
, robots taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
are possible.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
like customer service, security.
Possible spelling mistake found.
MoreOver
, These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
which do not require
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
effort and could
be automated
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
Did you mean "these"?
theses
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
does not require any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
at all. To illustrate, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
like customer service the employee should follow the easy steps. For that, the robot will not face problems that require
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
interfere and it should
be automated
.

Secondly
, To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machine
work or understand a thing you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
feed it with a huge amount of information.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
it takes years of researching and trying to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a robot do one single
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
takes
among other.
For example
, Scientist from MIT published a paper it says that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
. Such as, Siri took years to develop and it could not match how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
or respond and it will take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
years to be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
speaker as
Did you mean "anybody"?
any body
.

To conclude
, I don't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machine
is going to take over peoples career. In fact robots will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
life easier. And will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
complex
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
and kill easy boring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
I am always sorry when any language is lost, because languages are the pedigrees of nations.
Samuel Johnson

IELTS essay It is a positive thing that people who are in senior management positions in companies have much higher salaries than other employees in the same company or organization. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
255 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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