Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Many people say smoking should be banned and some say it is not a good idea. What is your opinion on this? v.3

Many people say smoking should be banned and some say it is not a good idea. What is your opinion on this? v. 3
People have different opinions about imposing restriction on smoking as some people believe that smoking should be totally banned while others disagree with it. The following essay will discuss about both opinions in details followed by my own opinion and a rational conclusion. On the one hand, it is understandable if several people dislike the controversial idea that smoking should be banned in all places. Firstly, they believe that everybody have their own right in doing things they like. Smoking is a preference and It is up to the individual themselves whether they would like to smoke or not. Secondly, prohibiting smoking will also affect the economic condition as cigarette factories absorb so many employments. If smoking is totally banned then many of the factories will be closed and will result a high unemployment rate. Finally, the high amount of tax the government collects from the tobacco industries will no longer be available as well. On the other hand, it is a fact that smoking has many negative effects for the smokers themselves. Based on the researches of some experts, smoking has become the main trigger to some serious diseases, such as lung cancer and heart attack. Besides that, smoking would also have a serious threat for the passive smokers. People who do not smoke but inhale the smoke of active smokers will also have a risk of lung cancer as well. Therefore, many people think that smoking should be totally banned, as it could have a serious effect to both the active and passive smokers. In my opinion, I personally support the idea that smoking should be totally banned in all places because smoking is dangerous for our health. But before executing the idea, the government must have an alternative plan for the employees of the cigarettes factories because they might be unemployed. The government could expand and developed a new industry therefore these employees could be allocated to the new area.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opinions
about imposing restriction on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
totally
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
banned
while others disagree with it. The following essay will
Did you mean simply "discuss both"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discuss about both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opinions
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
followed by my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opinion
and a rational conclusion.

On the one hand, it is understandable if several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
dislike the controversial
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
banned
in all places.
Firstly
, they believe that everybody have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
right in doing things they like.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Smoking
is a preference and It is up to the individual themselves whether they would like to smoke or not.
Secondly
, prohibiting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
will
also
affect the economic condition as cigarette factories absorb
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
employments. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
totally
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
banned
then
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of the factories will
be closed
and will result a high unemployment rate.
Finally
, the high amount of tax the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
collects from the tobacco industries will no longer be available
as well
.

On the other hand
, it is a fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects for the smokers themselves. Based on the researches of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
experts,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
has become the main trigger to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
serious diseases, such as lung cancer and heart attack.
Besides
that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
would
also
have a serious threat for the passive smokers.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
who do not smoke
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
inhale the smoke of active smokers will
also
have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of lung cancer
as well
.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
totally
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
banned
, as it could have a serious effect to both the active and passive smokers.

In my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opinion
, I
personally
support the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
totally
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
banned
in all places
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
for our health.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
executing the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
have an alternative plan for the employees of the cigarettes factories
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they might
be unemployed
. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
could expand and developed a new industry
therefore
these employees could
be allocated
to the new area.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
30Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Many people say smoking should be banned and some say it is not a good idea. What is your opinion on this? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
323 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts