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Many people say smoking should be banned and some say it is not a good idea. What is your opinion on this? Use your own experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant experiences. v.1

Many people say smoking should be banned and some say it is not a good idea. What is your opinion on this? Use your own experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant experiences. v. 1
In this contemporary world, most people show off their luxurious lifestyles by inculcating bad habits. Many people opine that the smoking should be proscribed, whereas others assert such an idea as an insignificant one. This essay will highlight why prohibiting the smoking is a superlative way to prevent the people from continuing such faulty manners. To begin with, the smoking causes several health related issues, and outlawing such practice will ultimately degrade the proportion of the people suffering from such illness. Many diseases such as lung cancer, COPD, asthma is escalated, due to the increasing number of the people smoking cigarettes nowadays. For instance, a survey taken by the Nepal Medical Council recently stated that 56% of the individuals suffering from a lung carcinoma were chronic smokers. Thus, disallowing such a tradition has a pragmatic consequence as well as aids in dodging such dependency. Furthermore, most people are addicted to smoking, and are unable to terminate such habit due to their availability, and the freedom to do so. Debarring this practice from the root will be a beneficial way to contract such a tradition, and the problems caused by it. To illustrate, Uttar Pradesh, a small state in India recently interdicted the people from smoking, and anyone carrying out in public was fined a humongous amount. After a few months, 78% of the people cut off their habit, and now even though such a ban is not available, the people prefer avoiding smoking. Therefore, prohibiting such an abominable issue is extremely essential for the people living in the society. In conclusion, I believe that the government should take an initiative to proscribe the smoking so that the people will lead a healthy life, and also aids in ceasing such an unpleasant norm. However, awareness from within is also very crucial to stop bad habits and living a happy and long life.
In this contemporary world, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
off their luxurious lifestyles by inculcating
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habits
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
opine that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
should
be proscribed
, whereas others assert such an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
as an insignificant one. This essay will highlight why prohibiting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
is a superlative way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from continuing such faulty manners.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
causes
Possible agreement error. The noun health seems to be uncountable; consider using: "some health".
several health
related issues, and outlawing such practice will
ultimately
degrade the proportion of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
suffering from such illness.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
diseases such as lung cancer, COPD, asthma
is escalated
, due to the increasing number of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
cigarettes nowadays.
For instance
, a survey taken by the Nepal Medical Council recently stated that 56% of the individuals suffering from a lung carcinoma were chronic smokers.
Thus
, disallowing such a tradition has a pragmatic consequence
as well
as aids in dodging such dependency.

Furthermore
, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are addicted
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
, and are unable to terminate such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habit
due to their availability, and the freedom to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
. Debarring this practice from the root will be a beneficial way to contract such a tradition, and the problems caused by it. To illustrate, Uttar Pradesh, a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
state in India recently interdicted the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
, and anyone
The pronoun 'anyone' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "carries", "carried".
carrying
out in public
was fined
a humongous amount. After a few months, 78% of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
off their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habit
, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
even though
such a ban is not available, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer avoiding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
.
Therefore
, prohibiting such an abominable issue is
extremely
essential for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living in the society.

In conclusion
, I believe that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should take an initiative to proscribe the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will lead a healthy life, and
also
aids in ceasing such an unpleasant norm.
However
, awareness from within is
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
crucial to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habits
and living a happy and long life.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay Many people say smoking should be banned and some say it is not a good idea. What is your opinion on this? Use your own experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant experiences. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
311 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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