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In many countries today, people buy a wide range of household goods. Is it a positive or negative development? v.1

In many countries today, people buy a wide range of household goods. Is it a positive or negative development? v. 1
These days, as the result of advances in science and technology, there are more and more varieties of new household products being available to consumers. Although these household goods assist consumers in many parts of life, this is not entirely positive development. As many people seem to be tired of the hectic pace of life, they have invested in modern conveniences to avoid drudgery. Thanks to advanced devices, people could significantly shave off hours of daily household chores. Time spent in preparation of food, washing or ironing of clothes and so on is far less these days than it used to be in the past so that consumers could spend more time relaxing. Modern household goods also help consumers adapt to the weather condition. Electronic devices such as air conditioners and heaters are used to adjust the temperature in households in order to make people feel more comfortable as well as healthier. However, there are a number of reasons why this investment can do more harm than good. First, modern consumerism is likely to have an environmental impact, either from the production processes or the disposal of the devices. In fact, a large quantity of lands are being contaminated as a consequence of being used not only to build an overwhelming number of factories but also to bury rubbish. Second, it is a large waste of money if people lavish on household gadgets and use them vacuously. Since nowaways we are increasingly surrounded by advertising, lots of people manipulated by these adverts consider to buy unnecessary goods to gratify momentary desires rather than relying on their income. In conclusion, it is a negative development of humanity if they spend money unwisely on a wide range of household goods. Therefore, people should consider carefully before buying any item to ensure that their investment is for a better life.
These days, as the result of advances in science and technology, there are more and more varieties of new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
household
products being available to consumers.

Although these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
household
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
assist consumers in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
parts of life, this is not
entirely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development.

As
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
seem to
be tired
of the hectic pace of life, they have invested in modern conveniences to avoid drudgery. Thanks to advanced devices,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could
significantly
shave off hours of daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
household
chores. Time spent in preparation of food, washing or ironing of clothes and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on is far less these days than it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to be in the past
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that consumers could spend more time relaxing. Modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
household
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
consumers adapt to the weather condition. Electronic devices such as air conditioners and heaters are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to adjust the temperature in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
households
in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel more comfortable
as well
as healthier.

However
, there are a number of reasons why this investment can do more harm than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
.
First
, modern consumerism is likely to have an environmental impact, either from the production processes or the disposal of the devices. In fact, a large quantity of lands are
being contaminated
as a consequence of being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
to build an overwhelming number of factories
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
to bury rubbish. Second, it is a large waste of money if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
lavish on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
household
gadgets and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
them
vacuously
. Since
Possible spelling mistake found.
nowaways
we are
increasingly
surrounded by advertising, lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
manipulated by these adverts consider to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
unnecessary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
to gratify momentary desires
rather
than relying on their income.

In conclusion
, it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
development of humanity if they spend money
unwisely
on a wide range of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
household
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should consider
carefully
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
buying any item to ensure that their investment is for a better life.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay In many countries today, people buy a wide range of household goods. Is it a positive or negative development? v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
307 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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