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Many people opine that all university students should study whatever they like, whereas some people think the university should teaching some subjects that only related to science and technology for students. v.1

Many people opine that all university students should study whatever they like, whereas some people think the university should teaching some subjects that only related to science and technology for students. v. 1
Many people opine that all university students should study whatever they like, whereas some people think the university should teach some subjects that only related to science and technology for students. In my opinion, teaching only science and technology subjects in the university can increase the number of graduates in these subjects, but it will be better if have the quality graduates in all subjects because students like that thing they learn. If the university teaching only science and technology, student will choose to study some subject in this area. A number of graduates in these subjects will be increased, but some students have to learn about something they do not really like. For example, my friend study about computer programs at the university because her father said working in this field can make a lot of money. After graduating, she is a programmer, but she does not like her job and try to find a new career. Students who study subject that they like will be a quality graduate and they can be a professional in their career, whether science or art. They have fun with their job because they like it and their job will useful for other people. My uncle, for instance, he really loves music and he chose to study about music at the university. Presently, he is a music teacher and children very happy when learn with him. In conclusion, every subject in the university is useful for people, so students should have an opportunity to study in a subject that they like. I am convinced people who love their subject and their career can be given the benefit for the community.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
opine that all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
whatever they like, whereas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
should teach
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
related to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
and technology for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. In my opinion, teaching
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
and technology
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
can increase the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it will be better if have the quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
in all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
like that thing they learn.

If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
teaching
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
and technology,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
will choose to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
in this area. A number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
will
be increased
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
learn about something they do not
really
like.
For example
, my friend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
about computer programs at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
her father said working in this field can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
money. After graduating, she is a programmer,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
she does not like her job and try to find a new career.

Students who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
that they like will be a quality
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
graduate and
they can be a professional in their career, whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
or art. They have fun with their job
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they like it and their job will useful for other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. My uncle,
for instance
, he
really
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loves
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
music and
he chose to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
about music at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
.
Presently
, he is a music teacher and children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
happy when learn with him.

In conclusion
, every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
is useful for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should have an opportunity to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
that they like. I
am convinced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
and their career can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
the benefit for the community.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
42Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Many people opine that all university students should study whatever they like, whereas some people think the university should teaching some subjects that only related to science and technology for students. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
277 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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