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Many people now undertake extreme activities, from hang-gliding to mountain climbing. Why do people risk their lives in this way? Do you think this is a good trend? v.4

Many people now undertake extreme activities, from hang-gliding to mountain climbing. Why do people risk their lives in this way? Do you think this is a good trend? v. 4
Extreme activities are most popular among most people such as high speed cars and bike racing and water sports. Despite many risks associated with these games, many people love them because of their adventure and risk loving attitude, to feel the sense of achievement and to attain the celebrity's status. Personally, I think that pleasure overcomes the danger, especially if it is accessed or controlled. To embark upon, one of the main reasons is an abundant amount of monetary income and astonishes fame. This is to say that these games allow people to become the global celebrities which in turn leads to the adrenaline rush among the sports of professionals to participate in unsafe sporting activities. For example, the racing drivers are the people who undergo such a high risk condition; however, they are willing to do it repeatedly due to the rewards they received through it. In my humble opinion, these games are effective and productive with appropriate tools. By this I mean, lots of accessories are available to protect players from dangerous situations. For example, in ice hockey, manufacturers are creating strong helmets against hard hits and they are testing these products under the laboratory condition, moreover, they used extremely hard material like fibre- plastic as a contributor. Another easiest and suggested approach is awareness among the people. In other words, reading books and blogs of people who succeeded and failed while trying them will help people to create lists what and what not to do. In conclusion, many people like to participate in life threatening activities for various reasons like money, fame et cetera. However, one should be circumspect about the danger of such activities and better fellow safety, guidance and train well in advance before practicing them. Check the Essay
Extreme
activities
are most popular among most
people
such as high speed cars and bike racing and water sports. Despite
many
risks
associated with these games,
many
people
love
them
because
of their adventure and
risk
loving attitude, to feel the sense of achievement and to attain the celebrity's status.
Personally
, I
think
that pleasure overcomes the
danger
,
especially
if it
is accessed
or controlled.

To embark upon, one of the main reasons is an abundant amount of monetary income and astonishes fame. This is to say that these games
allow
people
to become the global celebrities which in turn leads to the adrenaline rush among the sports of professionals to participate in unsafe sporting
activities
.
For example
, the racing drivers are the
people
who undergo such a high
risk
condition;
however
, they are willing to do it
repeatedly
due to the rewards they received through it.

In my humble opinion, these games are effective and productive with appropriate tools. By this I mean, lots of accessories are available to protect players from
dangerous
situations.
For example
, in ice hockey, manufacturers are creating strong helmets against
hard
hits and
they are testing these products under the laboratory condition,
moreover
, they
used
extremely
hard
material like
fibre
- plastic as a contributor. Another easiest and suggested approach is awareness among the
people
.
In other words
, reading books and blogs of
people
who succeeded and failed while trying them will
help
people
to create lists what and what not to do.

In conclusion
,
many
people
like to participate in life threatening
activities
for various reasons like money, fame
et cetera
.
However
, one should be circumspect about the
danger
of such
activities
and better fellow safety, guidance and train well in advance
before
practicing them.

Check
the Essay
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Many people now undertake extreme activities, from hang-gliding to mountain climbing. Why do people risk their lives in this way? Do you think this is a good trend? v. 4

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
293 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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