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Many people make friends through social sites and chat rooms. Others believe that it is not a good idea to make friends without meeting them face to face. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give your own opinion and relevant examples. v.2

Many people make friends through social sites and chat rooms. Others believe that it is not a good idea to make friends without meeting them face to face. Give your own opinion and relevant examples. v. 2
It is often thought by some that art is an important course and children ought to be taught in institutes. This essay agrees with this statement because art promotes creativity and reduces stress. Firstly, the creative ability is an essential cognitive skill that painting and drawing can foster. The ability of children to develop this skill will improve when taught art within their institution's curriculum. This will enhance their imagination and reasoning technique which will be useful for them at even in adulthood. For example, in South Africa, the National Teachers Association in 2010 enforced the teaching of art to all students from primary school level to secondary school level. This led to immense improvement in their student's general academics because they were able to reason better and improve their problem solving ability in other subjects. Another reason why art is necessary is that it reduces stress. Children who had the opportunity to learn an art in school can use it as a means to relieve their stress from everyday life even as an adult. They are able to entertain themselves with art such as music; this keeps them engaged and act as a means to do something different from their regular academic activity. For instance, Tom Jones, a student of Victory High Academy, who took the violin classes in school last year, informed his teachers that the use of the instrument has helped him, whenever he suffered from anxiety. In conclusion, I agree that art should be an essential subject at learning institutions and every child should be taught because it improve their imaginative ability and relieve stress.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
course and children ought to
be taught
in institutes. This essay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
with this statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
promotes creativity and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
.

Firstly
, the creative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ability
is an essential cognitive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
that painting and drawing can foster. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ability
of children to develop this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
when taught
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
within their institution's curriculum. This will enhance their imagination and reasoning technique which will be useful for them at even in adulthood.
For example
, in South Africa, the National Teachers Association in 2010 enforced the teaching of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
to all students from primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
level to secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
level. This led to immense improvement in their student's general academics
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they were able to reason better and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their problem solving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ability
in other subjects.

Another reason why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
is necessary is that it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
. Children who had the opportunity to learn an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it as a means to relieve their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
from everyday life even as an adult. They are able to entertain themselves with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
such as music; this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
them engaged and act as a means to do something
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
from their regular academic activity.
For instance
, Tom Jones, a student of Victory High Academy, who took the violin classes in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
last year, informed his teachers that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of the instrument has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
him, whenever he suffered from anxiety.

In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
should be an essential subject at learning institutions and every child should
be taught
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
Did you mean "improves"?
improve
their imaginative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ability
and relieve
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Many people make friends through social sites and chat rooms. Others believe that it is not a good idea to make friends without meeting them face to face. Give your own opinion and relevant examples. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
269 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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