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Even though globalization affects the world's economies in a very positive way, its negative side should not be forgotten. What is your view? Discuss. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.3

Even though globalization affects the world's economies in a very positive way, its negative side should not be forgotten. What is your view? Discuss. v. 3
While some people argue that creative activities like drawing or painting should be taught at school, others insist that they are useless and should not be part of the curriculum. Both views will be discussed in this essay before arriving at a conclusion. There are several merits to teaching drawing or painting at school. To start with, they foster the creativity of children. The very act of holding a pencil and making shapes on paper improve the motor skills and hand-eye coordination of children. This is the main reason why most schools teach drawing to primary students. Another advantage of including these lessons is that they help children to discover their inherent talents for painting or drawing. Those who have a flair of drawing can then join a drawing school to hone their skills. The main argument against making these lessons a part of the curriculum is that they waste the time of children who have no aptitude for drawing. Some parents are also disappointed that these classes rarely teach anything beyond the basics. While these arguments might sound logical, the truth is that drawing benefits everyone. Of course, not all children who learn drawing at school will become an eminent artist when they grow up. However, this is hardly a reason to remove drawing classes from the curriculum. Even if a child does not become a professional painter in the future, she will still benefit from the improved motor coordination skills she acquired through drawing. In conclusion, the argument that drawing lessons are useless does not hold water for the simple reason that the act of drawing improves the cognitive and intellectual skills of all children including those who have no talent for drawing.
While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that creative activities like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drawing
or painting should
be taught
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, others insist that they are useless and should not be part of the curriculum. Both views will
be discussed
in this essay
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
arriving at a conclusion.

There are several merits to teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drawing
or painting at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with, they foster the creativity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. The
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
act of holding a pencil and making shapes on paper
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the motor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and hand-eye coordination of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. This is the main reason why most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drawing
to primary students. Another advantage of including these lessons is that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to discover their inherent talents for painting or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drawing
. Those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have a flair of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drawing
can then
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drawing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
to hone their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

The main argument against making these lessons a part of the curriculum is that they waste the time of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have no aptitude for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drawing
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
parents are
also
disappointed that these classes rarely teach anything beyond the basics.

While these arguments might sound logical, the truth is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drawing
benefits everyone.
Of course
, not all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
learn
If 'learn' is used as a verb, it usually requires the infinitive: "to draw".
drawing
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
will become an eminent artist when they grow up.
However
, this is hardly a reason to remove
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drawing
classes from the curriculum. Even if a child does not become a professional painter in the future, she will
still
benefit from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
motor coordination
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
she acquired through drawing.

In conclusion
, the argument that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drawing
lessons are useless does not hold water for the simple reason that the act of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drawing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
the cognitive and intellectual
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
of all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
including those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have no talent for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drawing
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Even though globalization affects the world's economies in a very positive way, its negative side should not be forgotten. What is your view? Discuss. v. 3

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
285 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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