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Many people join distance‐learning programs (study material, post, TV, Internet) and study at home, but some people think that it cannot bring the same benefit as attending colleges or universities does. Do you agree or disagree? v.2

Many people join distance‐learning programs (study material, post, TV, Internet) and study at home, but some people think that it cannot bring the same benefit as attending colleges or universities does. v. 2
Remote learning has become a more and more popular way to for a degree. While some people believe that this way of studying is less beneficial than in college or university, I somewhat disagree with this statement for the reasons I will discuss further. First of all, in order to absorb any knowledge a person needs to dedicate enough time and effort. The location of the learning does not make a huge difference, whether it is done at home or in university. For example, a lecture provides information on a given subject, and in most cases the quality and the quantity of the talk will not vary no matter where this information has been given. In fact, a student will have to spend time processing the information in both cases. Therefore, I think that distance learning has clear advantages against college classes regarding taking in lectures. Another issue of distance learning to be considered is the possible lack of teacher's support. During most classes there are opportunities to clarify any misunderstanding about the topic. At home a student does not have access to the professor. Nevertheless, I believe that under these circumstances a lack of help can have a positive side. With recorded lectures, videos can be replayed at any time to help students with their papers or revision. In conclusion, both methods of study benefit students in different ways. However, I don’t agree that universities are a better way to earn a degree, because the information in a course is the same whether online or live in a lecture theatre.
Remote
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
has become a more and more popular way to for a degree. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that this way of studying is less beneficial than in college or university, I somewhat disagree with this statement for the reasons I will discuss
further
.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, in order to absorb any knowledge a person needs to dedicate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
time and effort. The location of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a huge difference, whether it
is done
at home or in university.
For example
, a lecture provides
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
on a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
subject, and
in most cases
the quality and the quantity of the talk will not vary no matter where this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
. In fact, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
spend time processing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
in both cases.
Therefore
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that distance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
advantages against college classes regarding taking in lectures.

Another issue of distance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
to
be considered
is the possible lack of teacher's support. During most classes there are opportunities to clarify any misunderstanding about the topic. At home a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
does not have access to the professor.
Nevertheless
, I believe that
under these circumstances
a lack of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
can have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
side. With recorded lectures, videos can
be replayed
at any time to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
with their papers or revision.

In conclusion
, both methods of study benefit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ways.
However
, I don’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that universities are a better way to earn a degree,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
in a course is the same whether online or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a lecture
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Many people join distance‐learning programs (study material, post, TV, Internet) and study at home, but some people think that it cannot bring the same benefit as attending colleges or universities does. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
261 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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