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Some people think that strict punishments for driving offences are the key to reducing traffic accidents. Others, however, believe that other measures would be more effective in improving road safety. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.12

Some people think that strict punishments for driving offences are the key to reducing traffic accidents. Others, however, believe that other measures would be more effective in improving road safety. v. 12
It is considered by some that the amount of accidents occurred could be suppressed by strict and hard punishments, while there are others who believe there are several more alternatives to improve passengers' safety. In my opinion, I believe strict laws reinforcements are essential to prevent more bad behavioural drivers, while encouraged citizens to use more public transports is better in upgrading peoples safety on the streets. On one hand, there are already several laws need to be obeyed before citizens got a driving license, but the accident percentages are still high in some particular places. Although, not so many of them are able to fully memorise each prohibitions. Consequently, creating a stricter punishment will not practically decrease the number of traffic accidents. In addition to that, the supervisions are a little to nothing. For example, drivers have a restriction to drive after drinking some proportion of alcohol. However, due to the minimum amount of securities to monitor each driver, they are able to drive without any problem. Thus, creating more laws and punishments will not affect the number of traffic accidents. On the other hand, other measurements, such as improving public transport facilities, are considered to be more effective in increasing road safety. One of the main reasons because people will start to choose public transportation as their main accomodation. In other words, the amount of vehicles surrounding the streets will also decrease drastically. For instance, if half of city population started to leave their private vehicles to travel, the number of cars and bikes would also be reduced at least by half. That's why, developing and maintaining public transport facilities is the best solutions in upgrading road safety. In conclusion, the most effective and efficient approach for reducing traffic accidents is by taking other alternatives, like upgrading public transportation, because the number of vehicles will also be reduced significantly.
It
is considered
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
occurred could
be suppressed
by strict and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
punishments, while there are others who believe there are several more alternatives to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
passengers' safety. In my opinion, I believe strict laws reinforcements are essential to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
Possible spelling mistake. 'behavioural' is British English.
behavioural
drivers, while encouraged citizens to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
transports is better in upgrading peoples safety on the streets.

On one hand, there are already several laws need to
be obeyed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
citizens
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
a driving license,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accident
percentages are
still
high in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
particular places. Although, not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of them are able to
fully
Possible spelling mistake. 'memorise' is British English.
memorise
each
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "prohibition"?
prohibitions
.
Consequently
, creating a stricter punishment will not
practically
decrease the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of traffic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
.
In addition
to that, the supervisions are a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
to nothing.
For example
, drivers have a restriction to drive after drinking
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
proportion of alcohol.
However
, due to the minimum amount of securities to monitor each driver, they are able to drive without any problem.
Thus
, creating more laws and punishments will not affect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of traffic accidents.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
measurements, such as improving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
transport facilities,
are considered
to be more effective in increasing road safety. One of the main reasons
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to choose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
transportation as their main
Possible spelling mistake found.
accomodation
. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, the amount of vehicles surrounding the streets will
also
decrease
drastically
.
For instance
, if half of city population
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their private vehicles to travel, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of cars and bikes would
also
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
at least by half. That's why, developing and maintaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
transport facilities is the best solutions in upgrading road safety.

In conclusion
, the most effective and efficient approach for reducing traffic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
is by taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
alternatives, like upgrading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
transportation,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of vehicles will
also
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
significantly
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that strict punishments for driving offences are the key to reducing traffic accidents. Others, however, believe that other measures would be more effective in improving road safety. v. 12

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
311 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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