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Some people believe that eventually all jobs will be done by artificially intelligence robots. What is your opinion? Give reasons for your answer including examples with your own experience and knowledge. v.1

Some people believe that eventually all jobs will be done by artificially intelligence robots. What is your opinion? v. 1
Although, “Artificial Intelligence robots” has been increasingly popular in the workforce nowadays. Wherein some groups of individual are giving the statement that all human works will be replaced by the machine. While I agree that all menial work could be replaced, however, it is unlikely that jobs which require human contact will be taken over. This essay will discuss the reason behind my viewpoints. Robots can be replaced where, specific and complex human skills are not required. Most companies are moving to machine work because of less expensive, accuracy and faster pace of work rather than giving training to employees. For instance, in order to withdraw cash, “Automated Teller Machines” have been replaced mankind. In addition, at railway station tickets are taken by passengers themselves. Consequently, humans have been replaced in some repetitive, easy task areas. On the contrary, some jobs are never be done by the robotic machines. To put it in a simple way, it requires “Human Touch”. To exemplify, some fields such as psychology, education and some social work where work depends on an individual cannot be replaced. Moreover, the work programming which will be done by the machines can be inserted by the mere humans. As a result, machines would not achieve the capacity to do the human work hundred and thousands of years. To conclude, it is increasingly likely that robots will end most human employment. Unskilled labour task can be replaced; nevertheless, sophisticated jobs which require human knowledge and mind will always exist. Sooner or later very small amount of jobs will be safe in progressive robotic machines.
“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
, “Artificial Intelligence robots” has been
increasingly
popular in the workforce nowadays. Wherein
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
groups of individual are giving the statement that all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
works will
be replaced
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machine
. While I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that all menial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
could
be replaced
,
however
, it is unlikely that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
which require
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
contact will
be taken
over. This essay will discuss the reason behind my viewpoints.

Robots can
be replaced
where, specific and complex
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
are not required. Most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
are moving to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machine
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of less expensive, accuracy and faster pace of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
rather
than giving training to employees.
For instance
, in order to withdraw cash, “Automated Teller
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Machines”
have
been replaced
mankind.
In addition
, at railway station tickets
are taken
by passengers themselves.
Consequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
have
been replaced
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
repetitive, easy task areas.

On the contrary
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
are never
be done
by the robotic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
. To put it
Consider replacing "in a simple way" with the adverb for "simple"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a simple way
, it requires
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
“Human
Touch”. To exemplify,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
fields such as psychology, education and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
depends on an individual cannot
be replaced
.
Moreover
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
programming which will
be done
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
can
be inserted
by the mere
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
would not achieve the capacity to do the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
hundred and thousands of years.

To conclude
, it is
increasingly
likely that robots will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
employment. Unskilled
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
task can
be replaced
;
nevertheless
, sophisticated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
which require
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
knowledge and mind will always exist. Sooner or later
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
will be safe in progressive robotic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that eventually all jobs will be done by artificially intelligence robots. What is your opinion? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
264 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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