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Many people join distance-learning programs (study material, post, TV, Internet) and study at home, but some people think that it cannot bring the same benefit as attending colleges or universities does. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

Many people join distance-learning programs (study material, post, TV, Internet) and study at home, but some people think that it cannot bring the same benefit as attending colleges or universities does. v. 1
Currently, there are diversities of ways to obtain high quality education wherever you are. Modern trends in the study, like learning from distance has become widely popular, especially after the invention of the internet. Some group of people join distance-learning programs, while others believe that knowledge can be effective when attending lessons in universities and colleges. This essay agrees with the benefits in traditional learning method rather than upgrading through online study materials. Firstly, it is obvious that universities or colleges help students gain more essential abilities compared with Internet knowledge. This is because, with the guidance of different professors, learners get practical and professional skills such as problem solving, critical thinking, which are crucial for becoming qualified employees in the future. Additionally, university education is not restricted to some textbook lessons as it also focuses on creating an enlightened generation through a favourable environment where they experience variety culture and learn to face real-life challenges. Moreover, instructors in university assist to make a suitable timetable for extensive and intensive lessons considering the academic performance of the student. This golden chance is completely missed in distance learning which brings to unproductivity. Studying in far is similar to learning to play guitar by watching video scripts which hard to understand. So, printed documents cannot teach them how to use those in the practical world. To conclude, people attend educational institutes to learn and become enlightened citizens, not to memorise lessons and pass exams. While distance learning can be a bonus to our already obtained abilities, it can never be the same as studying at a college or university.
Currently
, there are diversities of ways to obtain high quality education wherever you are. Modern trends in the study, like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
from distance has become
widely
popular,
especially
after the invention of the internet.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
group of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
distance-learning programs, while others believe that knowledge can be effective when attending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lessons
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
and colleges. This essay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
with the benefits in traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
method
rather
than upgrading through online study materials.

Firstly
, it is obvious that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
or colleges
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
students gain more essential abilities compared with Internet knowledge. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, with the guidance of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
professors, learners
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
practical and professional
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
such as problem solving, critical thinking, which are crucial for becoming qualified employees in the future.
Additionally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
education is not restricted to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
textbook
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lessons
as it
also
focuses on creating an enlightened generation through a
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourable' is British English.
favourable
environment where they experience variety culture and learn to face real-life challenges.

Moreover
, instructors in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
assist to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a suitable timetable for extensive and intensive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lessons
considering the academic performance of the student. This golden chance is completely missed in distance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
which brings to
Possible spelling mistake found.
unproductivity
. Studying in far is similar to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
to play guitar by watching video scripts which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to understand.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, printed documents cannot teach them how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
those in the practical world.

To conclude
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
attend educational institutes to learn and become enlightened citizens, not to
Possible spelling mistake. 'memorise' is British English.
memorise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lessons
and pass exams. While distance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
can be a bonus to our already obtained abilities, it can never be the same as studying at a college or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Many people join distance-learning programs (study material, post, TV, Internet) and study at home, but some people think that it cannot bring the same benefit as attending colleges or universities does. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
267 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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