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Many people hold a view that children should be taught to be part community by their parents, while others would argue that it is better for them to learn this at school. v.1

Many people hold a view that children should be taught to be part community by their parents, while others would argue that it is better for them to learn this at school. v. 1
Youth is the time when we are building a foundation for our entire life. Nowadays, studying or working in a city is the flavour of the present era. It has many reasons behind that. However, its disadvantages outweigh the advantages. First of all, cities provide basic necessities for living a life like better health care facilities, transportation frequencies, good infrastructures, quality education institutions and so forth. Secondly, many multinational companies are located in cities. It would give opportunities for better career for an individual. Thirdly, in this highly competitive era where the importance of good education is paramount. Urban cities have schools, colleges, universities with all facilities, equipments, faculties and so on. There are ample disadvantages because young people migrate towards cities. Nowadays, cities are becoming overcrowded. It leads the trouble for this the government to manage huge urban areas. Moreover, traffic jam, pollution, urbanization has been increased drastically over a last decade. Which is result into a global warming. In the countryside, they do not have skilled people in schools, hospitals, industries and so on. For this reason, it affects on the economy of the nation. There are a few advantages that youngsters are getting like standard quality of life, opportunities for growth in their job, better education. In conclusion, I admit that cities have better quality standards comparable to suburban areas. But we have to consider that this evolution has many adverse effects on cities which result into increasing polarization, pollution, urbanization.
Youth is the time when we are building a foundation for our entire life. Nowadays, studying or working in a city is the
flavour
of the present era. It has
many
reasons behind that.
However
, its disadvantages outweigh the advantages.

First of all
,
cities
provide
basic necessities
for living a life like
better
health care facilities, transportation frequencies,
good
infrastructures, quality education institutions and
so
forth.
Secondly
,
many
multinational
companies
are located
in
cities
. It would give opportunities for
better
career for an individual.
Thirdly
, in this
highly
competitive era where the importance of
good
education is paramount. Urban
cities
have schools, colleges, universities with all facilities, equipments, faculties and
so
on.

There are ample disadvantages
because
young
people
migrate towards
cities
. Nowadays,
cities
are becoming overcrowded. It leads the trouble for this the
government
to manage huge urban areas.
Moreover
, traffic jam, pollution, urbanization has
been increased
drastically
over a last decade.
Which
is result into a global warming. In the countryside, they do not have skilled
people
in schools, hospitals, industries and
so
on.
For this reason
, it affects on the economy of the nation.

There are a few advantages that youngsters are getting like standard quality of life, opportunities for growth in their job,
better
education.

In conclusion
, I admit that
cities
have
better
quality standards comparable to suburban areas.
But
we
have to
consider that this evolution has
many
adverse effects on
cities
which result into increasing polarization, pollution, urbanization.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Many people hold a view that children should be taught to be part community by their parents, while others would argue that it is better for them to learn this at school. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
244 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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