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If you are required to give feedback about your classmates/colleagues (work or performance), would you like to give positive comments or negative comments first? v.1

If you are required to give feedback about your classmates/colleagues (work or performance), would you like to give positive comments or negative comments first? v. 1
Nowadays, more and more people go to university to study higher, satisfy their passion, and turn their dream occupation into reality. In fact, full-time university students tend to focus too much on their studying. But, it is essential for them to participate in other activities as well. I believe that spending much time on studying and joining outdoor activities are both crucial. On the one hand, studying too much is not always good. If we just have been studying all day, we might become stressed, get tired and we won't have any spare time to do other things. Superior to studying means not having time to relax, which leads to a stressful constitution. There are numerous cases, as I know, that because of over studying, students tend to have psychological problems. I suggest that college students can learn to play a new musical instrument, participate in a sports club or a charity, and do the part-time favourite job to earn money to refresh after the hard-working time of studying. On the other hand, soft skills are extremely important, especially when we have a job. Communication skills, teamwork, work ethic, time management, creative problem solving, and many other soft skills that we cannot practice if we just study the theory on textbooks or lectures. Participating in activities not only help you to relax, but also improve you more about those skills. Thus, taking part in outdoor activities is a precise chance for university students to immerse themselves with society, which helps them to facilitate their personal skills. Volunteering work, for instance, not only cultivates their own knowledge on varieties of life aspects and different cultures, but teaches them how to empathise others who are in inferior conditions as well. These plays significant roles in individuals’ full development. In conclusion, university students should not neglect their study, they should study hard, but they also should do other activities to relax, draw their inspiration from their study and gain experiences and skills from life.
Nowadays, more and more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
higher, satisfy their passion, and turn their dream occupation into reality. In fact, full-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
tend to focus too much on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, it is essential for them to participate in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
as well
. I believe that spending much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
and joining outdoor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
are both crucial.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
too much is not always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
. If we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
have been
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
all day, we might become
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
tired and
we won't have any spare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
things. Superior to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
means not having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to relax, which leads to a stressful constitution. There are numerous cases, as I know, that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
tend to have psychological problems. I suggest that college
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can learn to play a new musical instrument, participate in a sports club or a charity, and do the part-time
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
job to earn money to refresh after the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
-working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
of studying.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, soft
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
are
extremely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
,
especially
when we have a job. Communication
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
, teamwork, work ethic,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
management, creative problem solving, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
soft
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
that we cannot practice if we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
the theory on textbooks or lectures. Participating in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
you to relax,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
you more about those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
.
Thus
, taking part in outdoor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
is a precise chance for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to immerse themselves with society, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to facilitate their personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
. Volunteering work,
for instance
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
cultivates their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
knowledge on varieties of life aspects and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cultures,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
teaches them how to
Possible spelling mistake. 'empathise' is British English.
empathise
others who are in inferior conditions
as well
. These plays significant roles in individuals’ full development.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should not neglect their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
, they should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they
also
should do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
to relax, draw their inspiration from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
and gain experiences and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
from life.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay If you are required to give feedback about your classmates/colleagues (work or performance), would you like to give positive comments or negative comments first? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
331 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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