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Some people hold a view that high school students must do community work as a mandatory part of their study program. v.1

Some people hold a view that high school students must do community work as a mandatory part of their study program. v. 1
At the present time, the noticeable decrease in the quality of learning, especially in the regions that are related to writing, speaking and mental abilities, become a tremendous obstacle. One of the primary factors that lead to this drop in the educational process is the lack of attention that this generation suffers from. As a consequence of the uncontrolled spread of the electronic devices, students find more interesting alternatives to do. For example, playing video games and watching television. The second critical point that affects the youngster's numerical ability is the invention of the calculator. More students start to rely on it instead of using their mental ability, this behaviour affects negatively their talent to deal with numbers. Furthermore, using laptops to find a detailed answer for every task instead of thorough thinking, leading them to face difficulty in mathematical ability. Although the considerable rise of the learning's troubles, there are several procedures could be implemented to mitigate these challenges. The first step is parental guidance. To illustrate, if parents limit the time their children waste on the electronic devices, their young could find more time for studying and learning. In addition to that, the monitorial role of teachers in schools could be also an important action. Encouraging students to use their mind instead of using mathematical devices or personal computers and the implementation of mental games, would be an effective way to provoke young to explore their mind's abilities. To conclude, while the modern technological devices could have unfavorable effect on educational system, the aid of parents and instructors at schools could tackle these issues
At the present time, the noticeable decrease in the quality of learning,
especially
in the regions that
are related
to writing, speaking and mental abilities, become a tremendous obstacle.

One of the primary factors that lead to this drop in the educational process is the lack of attention that this generation suffers from. As a consequence of the uncontrolled spread of the electronic
devices
, students find more interesting alternatives to do.
For example
, playing video games and watching television. The second critical point that affects the youngster's numerical ability is the invention of the calculator. More students
start
to rely on it
instead
of using their mental ability, this
behaviour
affects
negatively
their talent to deal with numbers.
Furthermore
, using laptops to find a detailed answer for every task
instead
of thorough thinking, leading them to face difficulty in mathematical ability.

Although the considerable rise of the learning's troubles, there are several procedures could
be implemented
to mitigate these challenges. The
first
step is parental guidance. To illustrate, if parents limit the time their children waste on the electronic
devices
, their young could find more time for studying and learning.
In addition
to that, the
monitorial
role of teachers in schools could be
also
an
important
action. Encouraging students to
use
their mind
instead
of using mathematical
devices
or personal computers and the implementation of mental games, would be an effective way to provoke young to explore their mind's abilities.

To conclude
, while the modern technological
devices
could have unfavorable effect on educational system, the aid of parents and instructors at schools could tackle these issues
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people hold a view that high school students must do community work as a mandatory part of their study program. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
265 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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