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The line graph shows burglaries per thousand vehicles in four countries between 2000 and 2009. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. v.1

The line graph shows burglaries per thousand vehicles in four countries between 2000 and 2009.
It is argued that in some nations, the governing body / authorities give priority to economic growth as compared to the other concerns. While the main advantage of this approach is better living standards, I believe that it can affect health and education of the general public. The primary advantage of prioritizing economic growth is that it can improve living standards and reduce the poverty rate. In other words, high average incomes enable consumers to enjoy more goods and services and a better lifestyle. This means that people will have more income that will eventually reduce the poverty rate. For example, a recent report published by the BBC suggested that economic growth in the twentieth century was a major factor in reducing absolute levels of poverty and enabling a rise in life expectancy. However, economic growth alone will not suffice. Health and education are equally important. The major drawback of prioritizing economic growth is that it can have a negative impact on the environment. China, for example, is growing rapidly. Unfortunately, this is at the expense of the environment. The air quality is China is perhaps the lowest in the world. Fast growing Indian cities is no different. While economic growth is good, the resultant pollution can affect the health of the people. It can also destroy wildlife. Another issue is that when nations try too hard to grow financially, culture and morality may take a hit. In conclusion, although prioritizing economic growth is beneficial because it increases the living standards and reduces the poverty rate, I believe that it has a negative impact on the environment and the health of people.
It
is argued
that in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
nations, the governing body / authorities give priority to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
as compared to the other concerns. While the main advantage of this approach is better living standards, I believe that it can affect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and education of the
Consider using "public".
general public
.

The primary advantage of prioritizing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
is that it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
living standards and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
rate.
In other words
, high average incomes enable consumers to enjoy more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
and services and a better lifestyle. This means that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will have more income that will
eventually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
rate.
For example
, a recent report published by the BBC suggested that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
in the twentieth century was a major factor in reducing absolute levels of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
and enabling a rise in life expectancy.

However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
alone will not suffice.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Health
and education are
equally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
. The major drawback of prioritizing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
is that it can have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on the environment. China,
for example
, is growing
rapidly
. Unfortunately, this is at the expense of the environment. The air quality is China is perhaps the lowest in the world.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Fast
growing Indian cities is no
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
. While
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
, the resultant pollution can affect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. It can
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
wildlife. Another issue is that when nations try too
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to grow
financially
, culture and morality may take a hit.

In conclusion
, although prioritizing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
is beneficial
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it increases the living standards and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
rate, I believe that it has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on the environment and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay The line graph shows burglaries per thousand vehicles in four countries between 2000 and 2009.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
272 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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