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Many people have difficulty maintaining a healthy diet. What are the causes of this problem? How could it be solved? v.5

Many people have difficulty maintaining a healthy diet. What are the causes of this problem? How could it be solved? v. 5
Many people are faced with the challenge of keeping to a healthy dietary choices. This is a serious problem because of its deleterious medical consequences. This essay will consider the main causes of the issue before proposing solutions. Perhaps, the most important cause of difficulty in keeping to a healthy diet is the busy work schedule of many people today. Many adults in various countries work from early in the morning until late in the evening and often have little or no break for meals. Thus, they usually buy available food for sustainance at work and while they are heading home. For instance, many companies in Nigeria do not have restaurants that provide meals conducive for health. Therefore, the workforce buy fast foods which have high amount of sugar, unhealthy fats and salts. Furthermore, due to the wide availability of refined and fast foods, many local foods that are wholesome are expensive. Many of these local foods have short shelf life which result in an increase in the rate of their spoilage. So, a number of food stores only house a limited quantity of these foods. This has resulted in their exorbitant prices, making it difficult to maintain a healthy diet. Fortunately, However, there are two promising solutions to this issue. First of all, employers should provide adequate meal breaks for their workers. When employees have enough time off their busy work schedule, they would be able to make home-made meals that can improve their health, or choose to regularly commute to restaurants that sell healthy delicacies. Secondly, locally grown agricultural produces should be subsidized by the government. Hence, it would be able to compete with cheap refined foods. For example, following a reduction in the price of locally produced rice supported by the Nigerian government, there was a surge in the sales of these rice to people who often visit fast food joints. Cheap local dishes would motivate more people to eat them and reduce fast foods. In conclusion, the difficulty faced by some people in keeping to wholesome meals arise owing to their busy work and the high cost of some locally grown produces. Employers should give their employees adequate meal breaks and the governments should subsize the price of some healthy local foods.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are faced
with the challenge of keeping to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
dietary
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "choice"?
choices
. This is a serious problem
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of its deleterious medical consequences. This essay will consider the main causes of the issue
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
proposing solutions.

Perhaps, the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
cause of difficulty in keeping to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
diet is the busy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
schedule of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
adults in various countries
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
from early in the morning until late in the evening and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
or no break for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
.
Thus
, they
usually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
available
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
for
Possible spelling mistake found.
sustainance
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and while they are heading home.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
in Nigeria do not have restaurants that provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
conducive for health.
Therefore
, the workforce
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
which have high amount of sugar, unhealthy fats and salts.
Furthermore
, due to the wide availability of refined and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
that are wholesome are expensive.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
have short shelf life which result in an increase in the rate of their spoilage.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
stores
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
a limited quantity of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
. This has resulted in their exorbitant prices, making it difficult to maintain a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
diet.

Fortunately
,
However
, there are two promising solutions to this issue.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, employers should provide adequate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meal
breaks for their workers. When employees have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
time off their busy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
schedule, they would be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
home-made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
that can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their health, or choose to
regularly
commute to restaurants that sell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
delicacies.
Secondly
,
locally
grown agricultural produces should
be subsidized
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.
Hence
, it would be able to compete with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
refined
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
.
For example
, following a reduction in the price of
locally
produced rice supported by the Nigerian
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
, there was a surge in the sales of these rice to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
visit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
joints.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Cheap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
dishes would motivate more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to eat them and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
foods.

In conclusion
, the difficulty faced by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in keeping to wholesome
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
arise owing to their busy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and the high cost of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
locally
grown produces. Employers should give their employees adequate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meal
breaks and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should
Possible spelling mistake found.
subsize
the price of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
39Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Many people have difficulty maintaining a healthy diet. What are the causes of this problem? How could it be solved? v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
376 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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