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Many people have a close relationship with their pets. These people treat their birds, cats, or other animals as members of their family. In your opinion, are such relationships good? Why or why not? v.5

Many people have a close relationship with their pets. These people treat their birds, cats, or other animals as members of their family. In your opinion, are such relationships good? Why or why not? v. 5
Some people do not have any pets in their house, except for unwanted ones such as a racoon or mouse. These people think that there is no place for animals in their places. However, other people have animals such as dogs, cats, and birds in their families and they have a close relationship with their pets. Personally, I belong to the people who treat their pets as members of their family. For several reasons, which I will mention bellow, I think that such relationships between a man and an animal bring many benefits. First of all, when people treat their pets as members of their families it means that they feel responsibilities for their little ones. As a result of this people care about their pets' health, their diet and shape, and I think both sides benefit from this kind of relationships. People do not feel alone and pets are in good hands. Personally, I think that pets give people a great opportunity to feel they are needed by these little but at the same time very courageous animals. Second of all, pets teach people, especially children, kindness and devotion. Children grow up kinder, more attentive and friendlier. Finally, often pets are the closest and most devoted friends of people and I am sure that we return them the same feelings. I think it is great and makes everyone a little bit happier. For example, when I was a child my family had a beautiful cat named "Nikola". We loved him very much and treat him as a member of our family. So, when he died we could not get used to the fact that he was not home. It was the feeling like we lost some of our family. Since then we did not have the cat. Now my parents have a bird and a couple of golden fish. In conclusion, I think that pets play a very important role in our everyday life. There are plenty of examples when animals saved people's lives and helped us in out fight with evil such as drugs and violence. So, I believe that our pets deserve the best we can offer them our love and devotion.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not have any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pets
in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
except for
unwanted ones such as a
Possible spelling mistake found.
racoon
or mouse. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that there is no place for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
in their places.
However
, other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
such as dogs, cats, and birds in their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
families and
they have a close relationship with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pets
.
Personally
, I belong to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who treat their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pets
as members of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. For several reasons, which I will mention bellow, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that such relationships between a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
and an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
treat their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pets
as members of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
it means that they feel responsibilities for their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
ones.
As a result
of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
care about their pets' health, their diet and shape, and I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
both sides benefit from this kind of relationships.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
do not feel alone and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pets
are in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
hands.
Personally
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pets
give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
a great opportunity to feel they
are needed
by these
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
at the same time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
courageous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
. Second of all,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pets
teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
especially
children, kindness and devotion. Children grow up kinder, more attentive and friendlier.
Finally
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pets
are the closest and most devoted friends of
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
people and
I am sure that we return them the same feelings. I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
it is great and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
everyone a
Reduce redundancy by using "little" or "bit".
little bit
happier.
For example
, when I was a child my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
had a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
cat named
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
Nikola
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
. We
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
him
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
much and treat him as a member of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
.
“So , when” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
So, when
he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
died
we could not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to the fact that he was not home. It was the feeling like we lost
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
.
“Since” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Since
The comma is probably missing here: "then, we".
then we
did not have the cat.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
my parents have a bird and a couple of golden fish.

In conclusion
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pets
play a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in our everyday life. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of examples when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
saved
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
us in out fight with evil such as drugs and violence.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, I believe that our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pets
deserve the best we can offer them our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
and devotion.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
37Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Mistakes

IELTS essay Many people have a close relationship with their pets. These people treat their birds, cats, or other animals as members of their family. In your opinion, are such relationships good? Why or why not? v. 5

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
365 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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