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Many people get little or no exercise during the working day or in their free time and develop health problems as a result. Why do many people do not get enough time to exercise? What can be done about this problem? v.1

Many people get little or no exercise during the working day or in their free time and develop health problems as a result. Why do many people do not get enough time to exercise? What can be done about this problem? v. 1
Most people are developing health issues as an outcome of little or no physical activities during weekdays or in their leisure time. The primary cause of this phenomenon is the sedentary and busy lifestyle, and the most viable solution is to educate and create awareness people about the health-related problems due to inadequate physical exercises in daily routine. Nowadays, people are busy with their modern lifestyle and least bothered about physical fitness. That is to say that people are living a sedentary way of life in today’s racing world, where they have little or no time to concentrate on their health and fitness. The consequences of this way of life lead to health-related issues like obesity, cardio and blood sugar diseases. For example, a recent survey carried out by the World Health Organization revealed that 43% of early age diseases are due to lack of physical fitness and healthy modus vivendi. A long-term solution to this predicament is to educate people and create awareness about the dangers of health problems caused by an unhealthy way of living. Youngsters and middle-aged people should be taught about how to allocate time for physical fitness daily and its long-term benefits on both physical and mental health. For example, a local Health Center in Belgium started a health awareness campaign in surrounding neighbourhoods about the benefits of a healthy way of living and they noticed a great response in the coming weeks, where many people started joining local clubs and enrolling in outdoor games, Yoga and other sports. In conclusion, “Our Health Is Our Wealth” withstands with this essay because health is vital before anything in life and taking good care of our body should be a habit to protect ourselves from health-related problems.
Most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
issues as an outcome of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
or no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
activities during weekdays or in their leisure time. The primary cause of this phenomenon is the sedentary and busy lifestyle, and the most viable solution is to educate and create awareness
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
about the health-related problems due to inadequate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
exercises in daily routine.

Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are busy with their modern lifestyle and least bothered about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fitness
.
That is
to say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are living a sedentary way of life in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s racing world, where they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
or no time to concentrate on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fitness
. The consequences of this way of life lead to health-related issues like obesity, cardio and blood sugar diseases.
For example
, a recent survey carried out by the World
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Health
Organization revealed that 43% of early age diseases are due to lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fitness
and healthy modus vivendi.

A long-term solution to this predicament is to educate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and create awareness about the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
dangers
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
problems caused by an unhealthy way of living. Youngsters and middle-aged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
be taught
about how to allocate time for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fitness
daily and its long-term benefits on both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
and mental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
For example
, a local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Health
Center in Belgium
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
awareness campaign in surrounding
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbourhoods' is British English.
neighbourhoods
about the benefits of a healthy way of
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
living and
they noticed a great response in the coming weeks, where
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
joining local clubs and enrolling in outdoor games, Yoga and other sports.

In conclusion
, “Our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Health
Is Our Wealth” withstands with this essay
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
is vital
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
anything in life and taking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
care of our body should be a habit to protect ourselves from health-related problems.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
26Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Many people get little or no exercise during the working day or in their free time and develop health problems as a result. Why do many people do not get enough time to exercise? What can be done about this problem? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
290 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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