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Many people find it difficult to speak in front of and to present to an audience. It is believed that this skill should be taught in school. Why is this important? To what extent do you agree or disagree with it? v.4

Many people find it difficult to speak in front of and to present to an audience. It is believed that this skill should be taught in school. Why is this important? with it? v. 4
Nowadays, presenting and giving a speech in front of an audience is daunting task for many people; therefore, some individuals believe that the skill of public speaking should be incorporated into school syllabus and taught to students. Undoubtedly, this skill is imperative for everyone as it increases their confidence level and I am of the opinion that schools should contribute to the communication development of children as it is associated with their professional life. It is a known fact that schools play an instrumental role in children’s lives. If skills are cultivated at the early stage of their life, the probability of becoming a well-rounded person in society is very high. In particular, they become confident about themselves, which stimulates them to do more achievements in their life. A study at The University of Toronto found that the students who mastered the speaking techniques in schools and involved in public speeches are more successful in their lives than those who were reluctant in front of an audience. Thus, it does signify the importance of public speaking ability. I firmly believe that one can reap numerous benefits by learning such skills because of the fact that communication is a key to many opportunities. Although people obtain several technical aptitudes to become successful, those who reach the pinnacle of their career are the ones who excel their presenting skills. The Chief Executive Office of an eminent organization Apple Inc, for instance, had no technical and corporate skills, but became a leader of one of the tech giant companies because of his remarkable communication skills, which inspired his employers and led to the invention of revolutionary technologies such as smart phones. In conclusion, this essay discussed that the skill of speaking in front of people is crucial and should be possessed by children in schools and I believe that it helps them to forge their successful career in this era of globalisation.
Nowadays, presenting and giving a speech in front of an audience is daunting task for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
;
therefore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
of public speaking should
be incorporated
into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
syllabus and taught to students.
Undoubtedly
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
is imperative for everyone as it increases their confidence
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
level and
I am of the opinion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
should contribute to the communication development of children as it
is associated
with their professional life.

It is a known fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
play an instrumental role in children’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
are cultivated
at the early stage of their life, the probability of becoming a well-rounded person in society is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
high.
In particular
, they become confident about themselves, which stimulates them to do more achievements in their life. A study at The University of Toronto found that the students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
mastered the speaking techniques in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
and involved in public speeches are more successful in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
than those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
were reluctant in front of an audience.
Thus
, it does signify the importance of public speaking ability.

I
firmly
believe that one can reap numerous benefits by learning such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "because".
because of the fact that
communication is a key to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
opportunities. Although
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
obtain several technical aptitudes to become successful, those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
reach the pinnacle of their career are the ones
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
excel their presenting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
. The Chief Executive Office of an eminent organization Apple Inc,
for instance
, had no technical and corporate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
became a leader of one of the tech giant
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of his remarkable communication
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
, which inspired his employers and led to the invention of revolutionary technologies such as smart phones.

In conclusion
, this essay discussed that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
of speaking in front of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
is crucial and should
be possessed
by children in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
and I believe that it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to forge their successful career in this era of
Possible spelling mistake. 'globalisation' is British English.
globalisation
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Many people find it difficult to speak in front of and to present to an audience. It is believed that this skill should be taught in school. Why is this important? with it? v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
319 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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