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Many people feel that urban environments are more unhealthy than they have ever been to. What do you think are the main causes of this problem? What measures can be effective in tackling this problem? v.1

Many people feel that urban environments are more unhealthy than they have ever been to. What do you think are the main causes of this problem? What measures can be effective in tackling this problem? v. 1
Most residents of cities think the surroundings and conditions that they live harms to their body compared to before. Apparently, it’s a correct view and there are many reasons that proves this subject. The main issues of most of today’s city air pollution and it really damages the body of people. The air quality is contaminating every day and some reasons cause this problem. One of these reasons is the rising car sold. The number of cars in cities is increasing and car factories rise annual production rate every year. Another reason for pollution of cities is a high number of the population. The number of residents is rising so they need accommodation, transportation, food, etc. The government can reduce pollution by revitalising the countryside of cities and encourage people to live there. Yet They can order to car factories to make eco-friendly cars. This is a beneficial way of reducing air pollution. Noise is another dilemma that existed in cities and could damage people. Nowadays, most cities have terrific because of the high statistic of cars and noise in cities is made by cars and terrific. This kind of pollution could harm the human psyche and makes it furious. On the other hand, people stay in traffic when they want to go to their workplaces and come back home so their time is wasted a lot and this setback could make them nervous. Governments can remedy this situation by expanding roads in the city and rise width of them so cars have more area. also, they can spread a range of city and make it wider, therefore, a high number of residents don’t gather in a small area and the traffic and noise are declined. Finally, today’s urban environment has some terrible effects on the city’s inhabitants. People and government can reach some compromise for these conditions and they should remedy a situation as soon as they can Otherwise many people get sick and it may cause death.
Most residents of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the surroundings and conditions that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
harms to their body compared to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.
Apparently
, it’s a correct view and there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
that proves this subject.

The main issues of most of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s city air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
and it
really
damages the body of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. The air quality is contaminating every day and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
cause this problem. One of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
is the rising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
sold. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
is increasing and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
factories rise annual production rate every year. Another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
is a high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of the population. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of residents is rising
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they need accommodation, transportation, food, etc. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
by
Possible spelling mistake. 'revitalising' is British English.
revitalising
the countryside of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
and encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
there.
Yet
They can order to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
factories to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
eco-friendly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
. This is a beneficial way of reducing air pollution.

Noise is another dilemma that existed in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
and could damage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Nowadays, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
have terrific
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the high statistic of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
and noise in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
is made
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
and terrific. This kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
could harm the human psyche and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
it furious.
On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
stay in traffic when they want to go to their workplaces and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
back home
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
their time
is wasted
a lot and this setback could
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
them nervous.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Governments
can remedy this situation by expanding roads in the city and rise width of them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
have more area.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
also
, they can spread a range of city and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
it wider,
therefore
, a high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of residents don’t gather in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
area and the traffic and noise
are declined
.

Finally
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s urban environment has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
terrible effects on the city’s inhabitants.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can reach
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
compromise for these
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
conditions and
they should remedy a situation as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as they can
Otherwise
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
sick and it may cause death.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
37Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
As a hawk flieth not high with one wing, even so a man reacheth not to excellence with one tongue.
Roger Ascham

IELTS essay Many people feel that urban environments are more unhealthy than they have ever been to. What do you think are the main causes of this problem? What measures can be effective in tackling this problem? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
329 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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