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Many people do not fee safe either at home or when they out. What are the causes and what can be done to solve this. v.1

Many people do not fee safe either at home or when they out. What are the causes and what can be done to solve this. v. 1
Community security always a heated topic among the public. Although in many areas security has been getting better, there are a number of people concern about their safety inside or outside their home. This essay will delve into the causes and give some suggestions in the End First of all, many residents feel dangerous in daily lives are caused by several aspects. To begin with, people are exposed under violent and sexual environment frequently. For instance, movies and television programmes that glorify violence may confuse people’s realization of reality. This may leads them lack of truth to others especially in the youth group. Secondly, people who living in some particular areas that crime rates are higher than other places will suffer more. That is because in such area have higher risk to occur crime such as robbery and shoplifting. and etc. Last but not least, lack of communication to neighborhood is considered another cause. People are too busy to participate in community’s activities and many people even do not realize who in the next door. This result in the loss of community belonging and dependence among the public. On the other hand, there are several strategies could be done in order to relieve folks’ the emotion of fear. Firstly, governments should publish new policy to limit the appearance of violence to the public as well as enhance the police force to against the crime. This will help to reduce the crime rates and create an increasingly safer community which people could enjoy the comfortable atmosphere and no longer to worry about safety. In terms of individuals, people should encourage themselves to participate to the community activities more. The resin for this is that If people are surrounded by familiar person, then they may feel safer compare to before that even did not realize who live in the next door. In conclusion, this essay argued the possible reasons that may cause the fear of emotion among some people and some solutions could be taken. Governments and individuals should work together to create a safer community.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Community
security always a heated topic among the public. Although in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "areas'" or "area's"?
areas
security has been getting better, there are a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
concern about their safety inside or outside their home. This essay will delve into the causes and give
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
suggestions in
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
the


This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
End


This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
residents feel
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
in daily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
are caused
by several aspects. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are exposed
under violent and sexual environment
frequently
.
For instance
, movies and television
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
that glorify violence may confuse
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
realization of reality. This may leads them lack of truth to others
especially
in the youth group.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who living in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
particular areas that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rates are higher than other places will suffer more.
That is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
in such area have higher
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
to occur
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
such as robbery and shoplifting.
Write the name of the item after 'and' or use only "etc".
and etc
. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, lack of communication to neighborhood
is considered
another cause.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
are too busy to participate in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community’s
activities and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
even do not realize who in the
next
door. This result in the loss of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
belonging and dependence among the public.

On the other hand
, there are several strategies could
be done
in order to relieve folks’ the emotion of fear.
Firstly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should publish new policy to limit the appearance of violence to the public
as well
as enhance the police force to against the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
. This will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rates and create an
increasingly
safer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could enjoy the comfortable atmosphere and no longer to worry about safety. In terms of individuals,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should encourage themselves to
The usual preposition for "participate" is "in" not "to". Revise: "participate in".
participate to
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
activities more. The resin for this is that If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are surrounded
by familiar person, then they may feel safer compare to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
that even did not realize who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in the
next
door.

In conclusion
, this essay argued the possible reasons that may cause the fear of emotion among
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
solutions could
be taken
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Governments
and individuals should work together to create a safer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay Many people do not fee safe either at home or when they out. What are the causes and what can be done to solve this. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
344 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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