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Many people choose to work or live abroad because of the higher standards of living they can find outside their home country. Do you think this brings more advantages or disadvantages to the people who follow this path? v.2

Many people choose to work or live abroad because of the higher standards of living they can find outside their home country. Do you think this brings more advantages or disadvantages to the people who follow this path? v. 2
A rising number of people prefer to emigrate to foreign countries considering the improved lifestyle and standard of living these places offer. While, this might be true to some extent, I personally feel that every person should consider the pros and cons of the same and in my viewpoint the disadvantages far extend the advantages for people who prefer this. People are usually unaware of the cost of living in these countries and most of them ending up taking jobs that are below the qualifications they have acquired. Firstly, migration to a developed country comes with higher expenses that are often underestimated by people. They convert their income earning capacity based on the foreign currency and although this might be very close to their home currency, they get lured by the same. In some instances, the income earned might be significantly lower, which is further worsened if the person has taken leverage. So, effectively some end up with a lower standard of living. Secondly, in most countries the degrees that have been earned from one's universities are often not accepted. Furthermore, the work experiences earned from abroad are underrated which leads to many people taking a setback in their work life. For instance, some professional qualifications like accountants and doctors are forced to take up further studies which are often very expensive and forces people to further increase their debt obligations. In conclusion, one should carefully analyse immigration and the prospects carefully because it involves complete relocation to another country. It involves transferring of families, assets and being completely away from one's home. If the country you are planning to move does not provide you with a significant markup in terms of living standards, and does not recognize your hard earned qualification, then I am of the opinion that you should reconsider your decision.
A rising number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to emigrate to foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
considering the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
lifestyle and standard of living these places offer. While, this might be true to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent, I
personally
feel that every person should consider the pros and cons of the same and in my viewpoint the disadvantages far extend the advantages for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who prefer this.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
are
usually
unaware of the cost of living in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and most of them ending up taking jobs that are below the qualifications they have acquired.

Firstly
, migration to a developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
with higher expenses that are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
underestimated by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. They convert their income earning capacity based on the foreign currency and although this might be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
close to their home currency, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
lured by the same. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
instances, the income
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earned
might be
significantly
lower, which is
further
worsened if the person has taken leverage.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
effectively
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Did you mean "ends"?
end
up with a lower standard of living.

Secondly
, in most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
the degrees that have been
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earned
from one's universities are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
.
Furthermore
, the work experiences
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earned
from abroad
are underrated
which leads to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
taking a setback in their work life.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
professional qualifications like accountants and doctors
are forced
to take up
further
studies which are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
expensive and forces
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
further
increase their debt obligations.

In conclusion
, one should
carefully
Possible spelling mistake. 'analyse' is British English.
analyse
immigration and the prospects
carefully
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it involves complete relocation to another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. It involves transferring of families, assets and being completely away from one's home. If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
you are planning to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
does not provide you with a significant markup in terms of living standards, and does not recognize your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earned
qualification, then I am of the opinion that you should reconsider your decision.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes
The man who does not know other languages, unless he is a man of genius, necessarily has deficiencies in his ideas.
Victor Hugo

IELTS essay Many people choose to work or live abroad because of the higher standards of living they can find outside their home country. Do you think this brings more advantages or disadvantages to the people who follow this path? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
304 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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