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Do you prefer to follow the path the successful people have taken, or you prefer to take your own path. v.2

Do you prefer to follow the path the successful people have taken, or you prefer to take your own path. v. 2
Nowadays, people try hard to be successful in their career, study, and relationship, to name but a few. In effort to become succeed, individuals have implemented several procedures. One of the determining factor in becoming succeed is the necessity of learning others' experience and recommendation. In this regard, choosing the best strategy to follow has caused a heated debate in society. Some people prefer to go on their path and ignore others' advice. While others believe otherwise. The idea to which I subscribe is that people should use successful experience. My reasoning is based on quite a few reasons, three conspicuous ones of which have been elaborated upon hereunder. To begin with, we live in an age in which time is of great importance. In this regard there is a famous proverb which states " Time is greater then gold in terms of value, " with this in mind, people should take action to use others' people experience, which leads to save time. In contrast, if individuals do not pay attention to others' advice, they will probably find obstacles which thwart them from eaching success, and at least it takes much time to overcome these difficulties which can be avoided by knowing others encountering such problems. Moreover, in our modern scientific world, time is marching relentlessly, and technology is advancing in a galloping rate, and in order to keep up with these changes, learning successful people' s recommendation. Secondly, it is incontrovertibly axiomatic that it is more likely to get desired results if people fully examine their decisions. Indeed, success will not be obtained by luck. Rather, it is fully consideration that brings about victory. By consulting with successful figures, one can solve any problems and predict any consequences, which can guarantee their success. Statistics also demonstrates that companies learning from past are more successful in their business. Accordingly, far-sighted managers tend to grant their unqualified support for collecting information about standard and wise decision made in past. Eventually, using others' experience brings a positive feeling. It is no exaggeration that happiness is open sesame to more concentration. In fact, these decent emotions results from the fact that every sides of the given issue has been considered. Hence, great feeling may exert a strong influence on our performance and gives us self confidence All in all, I have a penchant for the idea that people should employ others' experiences because of aforementioned reasons. Therefore, it is highly recommended that people should not take others' instruction for granted and do their best to exploit successful people' s advice, which can pave the way to success in a practical manner.
Nowadays,
people
try
hard
to be
successful
in their career, study, and relationship, to name
but
a few. In effort to become succeed, individuals have implemented several procedures. One of the determining factor in becoming succeed is the necessity of learning
others&
#039;
experience
and recommendation. In this regard, choosing the best strategy to follow has caused a heated debate in society.
Some
people
prefer to go on their path and
ignore
others&
#039; advice. While others believe
otherwise
. The
idea
to which I subscribe is that
people
should
use
successful
experience
. My reasoning
is based
on quite a few reasons, three conspicuous ones of which have
been elaborated
upon hereunder.

To
begin
with, we
live
in an age in which
time
is of great importance. In this regard there is a
famous
proverb which states
&quot
;
Time
is
greater then
gold in terms of value,
&quot
; with this in mind,
people
should take action to
use
others&
#039;
people
experience
, which leads to save
time
.
In contrast
, if individuals do not pay attention to
others&
#039; advice, they will
probably
find obstacles which thwart them from
eaching
success
, and at least it takes much
time
to overcome these difficulties which can
be avoided
by knowing others encountering such problems.
Moreover
, in our modern scientific world,
time
is marching
relentlessly
, and technology is advancing in a galloping rate, and in order to
keep
up with these
changes
, learning
successful
people&
#039; s recommendation.

Secondly
, it is
incontrovertibly
axiomatic that it is more likely to
get
desired results if
people
fully
examine their decisions.
Indeed
,
success
will not
be obtained
by luck.
Rather
, it is
fully
consideration that brings about victory. By consulting with
successful
figures, one can solve any problems and predict any consequences, which can guarantee their
success
. Statistics
also
demonstrates that
companies
learning from past are more
successful
in their business.
Accordingly
, far-sighted managers tend to grant their unqualified support for collecting information about standard and wise decision made
in past
.

Eventually
, using
others&
#039;
experience
brings a
positive
feeling. It is no exaggeration that happiness is open sesame to more concentration. In fact, these decent emotions results from the fact that every
sides
of the
given
issue has
been considered
.
Hence
, great feeling may exert a strong influence on our performance and gives us
self confidence


All in all, I have a penchant for the
idea
that
people
should employ
others&
#039;
experiences
because
of aforementioned reasons.
Therefore
, it is
highly
recommended that
people
should not take
others&
#039; instruction for granted and do their best to exploit
successful
people&
#039; s advice, which can pave the way to
success
in a practical manner
.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
30Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17Mistakes

IELTS essay Do you prefer to follow the path the successful people have taken, or you prefer to take your own path. v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
438 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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