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Many people choose to take a year out between finishing school and starting university in order to gain work or experience to travel. The experience of non-academic life thus offers benefits the individual when they return to education. v.2

Many people choose to take a year out between finishing school and starting university in order to gain work or experience to travel. The experience of non-academic life thus offers benefits the individual when they return to education. v. 2
At recent years, it has become a favourable trend for high school’s alumni to take a year break before conducting further study in university. People speculate discussing this topic causing the different notions whether this provides benefits or gives negative impacts. I believe that taking the break will give teenagers positive effects which I will elaborate below. High school’s graduates are considered as fresh graduates and through travelling or working they will gain beneficial acknowledgements such as other cultures, their own truly passions, and practical working experiences. They can learn how and what other people’s culture and religion beliefs so they will have broader knowledge and more wisdom. Also, through taking a year off, they know what choice to be made relating to specialisation that they will take in the university because of their one year journey and tranquillity. Furthermore, having appropriate experiences will lead young generations to a convenient study in university because they can relate complex theories with real conditions, and as a result, they will achieve good understandings in the learning process. However, high cost and time waste are undeniable contra-productive arguments. These barriers cause teenagers to spend more expenditure which they cannot afford and teenagers will be less confident because of time waste comparing with their friends who directly continue their study. However, maximum growth in travelling industries such as travel agents, airline corporations, and good offer from local governments to promote their local cultures has reduced the total travel expenses by giving compensations throughout ticket discounts, special offer, etc. Apart from that, they should not feel less confident because what they have learned from their journey can help them to even pass their friends in the classes. It means that stakeholders have to design models to maximise the positive impacts. To sum up, benefits for youngsters having their break for one year overweigh the threats and this overwhelming trend should be promoted rapidly.
At recent years, it has become a
favourable
trend for high school’s alumni to take a
year
break
before
conducting
further
study in university.
People
speculate discussing this topic causing the
different
notions whether this provides benefits or gives
negative
impacts. I believe that taking the break will give
teenagers
positive
effects which I will elaborate below.

High school’s graduates
are considered
as fresh graduates and through travelling or working they will gain beneficial
acknowledgements
such as other cultures, their
own
truly
passions, and practical working experiences. They can learn how and what other
people
’s culture and religion beliefs
so
they will have broader knowledge and more wisdom.
Also
, through taking a
year
off, they know what choice to
be made
relating to
specialisation
that they will take in the university
because
of their one
year
journey and
tranquillity
.
Furthermore
, having appropriate experiences will lead young generations to a convenient study in university
because
they can relate complex theories with real conditions, and
as a result
, they will achieve
good
understandings in the learning process.

However
, high cost and time waste are undeniable contra-productive arguments. These barriers cause
teenagers
to spend more expenditure which they cannot afford and
teenagers
will be less confident
because
of time waste comparing with their friends who
directly
continue their study.
However
, maximum growth in travelling industries such as travel agents, airline corporations, and
good
offer from local
governments
to promote their local cultures has
reduced
the total travel expenses by giving compensations throughout ticket discounts, special offer, etc. Apart from that, they should not feel less confident
because
what they have learned from their journey can
help
them to even pass their friends in the classes. It means that stakeholders
have to
design models to
maximise
the
positive
impacts.

To sum up, benefits for youngsters having their break for one
year
overweigh
the threats and this overwhelming trend should
be promoted
rapidly
.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Many people choose to take a year out between finishing school and starting university in order to gain work or experience to travel. The experience of non-academic life thus offers benefits the individual when they return to education. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
318 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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