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Many people choose to live alone. What do you think the advantages of living alone are and do they outweigh the disadvantages? v.2

Many people choose to live alone. What do you think the advantages of living alone are and do they outweigh the disadvantages? v. 2
Many people, especially young people prefer to live alone, because they can enjoy being independent and they can enjoy the freedom of lifestyles. These reasons can be beneficial for some extent; however, the disadvantages override the benefits in my perspective, because people who live by themselves have to face the emergency situations and have to deal with all the house chores to be done by themselves. People who live alone assert can enjoy freedom from their families. They can do whatever they want to do at their convenient time without their parents' nagging about spending time on video games or staying up late. Also, they can make their own decisions without any conflicts. When people live with his family, every decision has to be confirmed and told to his family. In particular, when a person wants to stay over night or going out at late hour, he has to persuade his opinion with reasons to his parents. In the worst case, he may give up his own opinion and follow the elders' decision to avoid conflicts if there is a disparity of opinion. Therefore, living alone can provide the joyful lifestyles for no-interruptions from families. Further to this, living alone can provide the independent and the responsibilities for every decisions. Without any helps from parents, a person can make any decisions and the consequences from that decision should be dealt by the person. If the person decided to go for a party on Sunday night, he will learn about responsible for his decisions by attending to school or going to work on Monday morning. From this, he will learn the consequences from his decisions and he will learn to be responsible for decisions. Therefore, people will learn about being independent in every decision making and the responsible for those decisions. Despite these benefits, when people are living by themselves, there are some certain tasks must be done compulsorily such as house chores. Without parent' s help, people may face the difficulty to juggle house chores and resting for themselves. The house chores must be done regardless the condition of a person, whether the person is sick or fatigued, because this is not a mere choice. The person is difficult to manage all the tasks when he has to manage different types of work in a limited time, even though he becomes familiar with the repeated jobs. In addition, there are times when other people' s support and help are necessary. In the case of illness, for example, are usually difficult to endure alone. People want to feel treated and cared by others especially when they are sick because they are feeling vulnerable. Furthermore, people can get sick without warning or they can get accidents unexpectedly and those times, people require other person' s, especially their families' , help. It is definitely difficult situations like sudden illness alone. In conclusion, living alone provides benefits by ensuring freedom and helping people become independent. Despite these advantages, those are offset by disadvantages because people should face the difficulties of house chores and emergency situations without anyone' s help.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
especially
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alone
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can enjoy being
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
independent and
they can enjoy the freedom of lifestyles. These reasons can be beneficial for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent;
however
, the disadvantages override the benefits in my perspective,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
by themselves
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
face the emergency situations and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
deal with all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chores
to
be done
by themselves.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alone
assert can enjoy freedom from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
. They can do whatever they want to do at their convenient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
without their
Possible spelling mistake found.
parents&
#039; nagging about spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on video games or staying up late.
Also
, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
without any conflicts. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
with his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
, every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be confirmed
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
to his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
.
In particular
, when a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
wants to stay
Did you mean the adjective or adverb "overnight" (i.e., for or during the entire night)?
over night
or going out at late hour, he
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
persuade his opinion with reasons to his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
. In the worst case, he may give up his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
opinion and follow the
Possible spelling mistake found.
elders&
#039;
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
to avoid conflicts if there is a disparity of opinion.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alone
can provide the joyful lifestyles for no-interruptions from families.

Further
to this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alone
can provide the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
independent
and the responsibilities for every
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "decision"?
decisions
. Without any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
and the
The usual preposition to use after "consequences" is not "from". Did you mean "consequences of", "consequences for", or "consequences on"?
consequences from
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
should
be dealt
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
. If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
decided to go for a party on Sunday night, he will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
about responsible for his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
by attending to school or going to work on Monday morning. From this, he will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
the
The usual preposition to use after "consequences" is not "from". Did you mean "consequences of", "consequences for", or "consequences on"?
consequences from
his
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
decisions and
he will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
to be responsible for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
about being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
independent
in every
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
decision making
and the responsible for those decisions.

Despite these benefits, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
by themselves, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
certain tasks
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be done
compulsorily
such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chores
. Without
Possible spelling mistake found.
parent&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may face the difficulty to juggle
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chores
and resting for themselves. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chores
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be done
regardless the condition of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
, whether the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
is sick or fatigued,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this is not a mere choice. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
is difficult to manage all the tasks when he
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
manage
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
types of work in a limited
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
,
even though
he becomes familiar with the repeated jobs.

In addition
, there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
when other
Possible spelling mistake found.
people&
#039; s support and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
are necessary. In the case of illness,
for example
, are
usually
difficult to endure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alone
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
want to feel treated and cared by others
especially
when they are sick
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are feeling vulnerable.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
sick without
Use a comma before 'or' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
warning or
they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
accidents
unexpectedly
and those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
require other
Possible spelling mistake found.
person&
#039; s,
especially
their
Possible spelling mistake found.
families&
#039;
Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
. It is definitely difficult situations like sudden illness alone.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alone
provides benefits by ensuring freedom and helping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
independent
. Despite these advantages, those are offset by disadvantages
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should face the difficulties of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chores
and emergency situations without
Possible spelling mistake found.
anyone&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
.
17Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
81Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16Mistakes

IELTS essay Many people choose to live alone. What do you think the advantages of living alone are and do they outweigh the disadvantages? v. 2

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
515 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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