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Many people choose to learn practical subjects therefore theoretical subjects will be no longer be taught in universities. Do you agree or disagree? . v.1

Many people choose to learn practical subjects therefore theoretical subjects will be no longer be taught in universities. . v. 1
It is a common belief that the mainstream media has been affected an individual’s horizon. In my point of view, I completely agree with this idea and will shed some light on the reasons which have shaped my opinion. The mass media play a significant role in changing a personal idea since it provides a wide range of information and knowledge for people. They are able to have more opportunities to learn more concepts, especially in the professional through TV, radio or newspapers. For example, around 100 years ago, people did not know how to deal with diabetes. However, they can collect useful information since there are a variety of resources that give specific ideas to them. This shows that proper data can help people to develop their notions about health. Therefore, the media has improved people’s concepts in the specific field. On the one hand, the mainstream media have changed people’s perceptions to politics as they are readily exposed to these issues. In the past, it was challenging for them to take part in politics as a citizen since they did not recognize what exactly happened to society. However, via media, people are likely to keep up with the latest materials. According to research, due to the development of the mass media, the proportion of people who attend election has been considerably increased. Thus, it helps public to have an interest in politics. In conclusion, in my opinion, the improvement of the mainstream has an excellent impact on shaping people’s ideas because the public has recognized the importance of social issues as well as useful information.
It is a common belief that the mainstream
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
an individual’s horizon. In my point of view, I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
idea
and will shed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
light on the reasons which have shaped my opinion.

The mass
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
play a significant role in changing a personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
idea
since it provides a wide range of information and knowledge for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. They are able to have more opportunities to learn more concepts,
especially
in the professional through TV, radio or newspapers.
For example
, around 100 years ago,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
did not know how to deal with diabetes.
However
, they can collect useful information since there are a variety of resources that give specific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ideas
to them. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that proper data can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to develop their notions about health.
Therefore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
concepts in the specific field.

On the one hand, the mainstream
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
perceptions to politics as they are
readily
exposed to these issues. In the past, it was challenging for them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in politics as a citizen since they did not recognize what exactly happened to society.
However
, via
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are likely to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
up with the latest materials. According to research, due to the development of the mass
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
, the proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who attend election has been
considerably
increased.
Thus
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
public to have an interest in politics.

In conclusion
, in my opinion, the improvement of the mainstream has an excellent impact on shaping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ideas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the public has recognized the importance of social issues
as well
as useful information.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Many people choose to learn practical subjects therefore theoretical subjects will be no longer be taught in universities. . v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
267 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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